Forgiveness

Has someone ever wronged you? What was your response? Did you give them the silent treatment for a month? Or did you constantly remind them of their sin and stay angry at them? This is a perfectly human thing to do. We all have done it (or at least I have)! Maybe you don't tell it to their face, but inside continually hold a grudge. Forgiveness is the correct response. Not a "I forgive you" but still hate your guts for hurting me, but a "I understand you're human, and are sorry for your wrong. You don't deserve punishment from me. God convicts you of your sin. I forgive you. Let's start over and not fight again." That would be a perfectly, practical, easy approach right? Ha! Something tells me it's not that easy...

In the book of Job, three of Job's friends give him advice about the difficult situation he's going through. They don't mean harm, but happen to be wrong in a few areas and told him the wrong things. Job's forgiveness is an accurate example of how we're called to forgive.

Job 42:7-10 (NIV)

"After the LORD had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, 'I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.' So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the LORD told them; and the LORD accepted Job's prayer.

After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before."

When I first read this, it was during a difficult time I was going through. I was hurt by a friend's actions and wasn't quite ready to forgive. To be honest, I had never really experienced true forgiveness, because I had never been hurt that badly. I was so angry. I kept on asking God, why me? Why do I have to suffer for someone else's wrongdoing? But I'm not perfect either. I've hurt people before too. And since God forgives everyone's sins, we should do the same. It's called compassion. You need to erase the bad memories, and start over. Wipe the slate clean and forgive, truly forgive them.

My Bible, the teenage girl True Images Bible by Zondervan (copyright 2007) had a perfect study insert in the Job chapter on forgiveness.

"For you, does forgiveness mean forgiving and forgetting? Or do you claim to forgive yet still hold a grudge? God promised to forgive the sin of Job's well-meaning but totally wrong friends. He didn't plan on reminding them about their sin later. Forgiveness is just like God says-it's not treating someone as he or she deserves. It also means wiping the slate completely clean. Is there someone who needs your forgiveness? How willing are you to totally forgive from the heart?"

Something else that struck me as important in the forgiveness concept is the reward. Forgiveness doesn't exactly benefit the person who sinned against you. They might not even know if you've forgiven them. But, it benefits who a whole lot more, when you can learn to love that person again. When you can learn to wipe the slate clean and not hold a grudge. I've realized that holding grudges is exhausting. It's not exactly comforting or my idea of fun. When you forgive, it's like a burden has been lifted. You're no longer worried about anything. You're free to love again. The number one, greatest commandment in the Bible is to love one another.

I think there's a direct correlation to love and freedom (see previous posts on freedom: Freedom! and Red, White, and Blue is not True Freedom). And forgiveness. Once you learn to forgive, you learn to love. Once you love, you experience freedom. It's like a bulls-eye if you hit all three!

Galatians 5:13 (NIV)

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love."

Perhaps you might have noticed it, but isn't it kind of contradictory that to be free, you must serve? After all, a servant is not free. They are the counter opposite! But, God works in mysterious ways, and He is the truth. There is truth in this message. To experience freedom, you must be a servant of God-obeying His commands and fulfilling His purpose for you. It may seem tedious, boring, or just plain weird, but trust me. You will never be free from sin without obeying God and trusting in His son Jesus, who died on the cross to set you free. Every time I hear of God's amazing love for us, I swell up with joy. How great is the Lord almighty! Praise His name for He has forgiven our sins!

I am reminded of the glorious plan in the Bible regarding Joseph. His brothers had really treated him badly. If you think you've been hurt, it's nothing compared to your own brothers selling you! They sold Joseph as a slave because of their jealousy for his father's favor on him. But, since God is so awesome, the plan worked out for the benefit of everyone! Joseph was put in charge of the kingdom's food supply, and shrewdly stored up enough. He saved many lives because a famine came to the region.

Genesis 50:15-21 (NIV)

¹⁵ When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?" ¹⁶ So they sent word to Joseph, saying, "Your father left these instructions before he died: ¹⁷ 'This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.' Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father." When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

¹⁸ His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. "We are your slaves," they said.

¹⁹ But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ²¹ So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

No matter how much pain someone has caused you, I encourage you to take a step of faith and forgive them. It may take some time. But in the end, you'll learn to love, and ultimately experience freedom! God's plan is so perfect, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

-Forgiveness picture and Forgiveness saying found on Google.