One word: HORMONES

Is it bad when a German exchange student recognizes that the reason for your extreme, ridiculously CRAZY emotions and apparent annoyance at the UNIVERSE is a result of one word: hormones?

So it began with the fact that this week is going to and is the most stressful week ever! Add that to getting completely lost trying to find the tennis courts downtown for my meet (Google Maps was WRONG! It told me to turn right on a one way going left!), then coming home to loads of homework and an extremely long do to list when the computer is ignorant and the printer decides to completely malfunction when my dad is not around to fix it. Then I try to do my AP U.S. study guide and it's not even in chronological order - luckily my book is stupid enough to... well just be plain DUMB. Add that to a menstrual cycle and you've got an extremely disoriented lunatic. The German exchange student my family is hosting was fortunate enough (definitely sarcastic!) to see and hear my explosion... he asked if there was anything I wasn't angry at (I said everything but God) then he asked if I wanted to relax and have a cookie. I screamed, "But a cookie didn't help! I still feel bad." He kept it simple, "Perhaps it's just hormones." Yeah... why couldn't I think of that? Instead a 17 year old teenage boy interprets my emotions. Cool, right? :P It makes me feel more like a loser, but I'm sure in a week I won't feel angry at the world! :)

It's times like these when I wonder what God was thinking when He invented hormones. But then again, as my genius exchange student pointed out, "then you wouldn't feel anything." I think it's good to feel emotions. An unemotional person is tediously boring. We have emotions so we can express our thoughts and feelings. I am glad for that, but we still have to deal with the annoying, angry, sad, and simply frustrated emotions! That's when I turn to the Bible. God never lets me down!

John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept." Yet, it conveys a deep and vital meaning. Even Jesus had to deal with the emotions of the world. He cried too! (Now I understand why I was so emotional for my previous post two days ago) Emotions are perfectly normal, but it's dealing with those emotions that can be difficult.

Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)

'I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Did you catch that? Paul was content in every circumstance! Talk about discipline. My hormones can cause me to act insanely crazy! Yet I can still choose to control those emotions and not lash out my anger on everyone else. (I'm sorry if I did) The good thing about emotions and hormones like these is that they're temporary. Don't worry about being forever angry or sad. It's just a season that will pass by momentarily. (I thank God that in this case it's only once month) Like He says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

-Emotions picture from Google

He hears me when I cry

I lost a $20 bill today. If that's not a tragedy, then it is when you realize it was my dad's $20. With such a simple screw-up, I wasn't exactly okay with the situation. Instead of just letting it go and saying, "Oh well," I decided to beat myself up over it for an hour. I always tell myself not to cry, because it's not worth it, but I usually end up saying goodbye to a few tears...

Add that to an infinite amount of homework, and I couldn't help but explode. I didn't even want to go to the grocery store for my mom - so I was already in a bad mood. My dad handed me a $20 and I stuck it in the grocery list. I would have just put it in my pocket, but I was wearing a dress and couldn't. The store was crowded! So as I rushed to find the groceries, I got out the list and... oops... somehow the $20 must have fallen out. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I wanted to scream when I got to the register and couldn't find it. Using my money to pay for the $6 worth of groceries, I ran around for a few minutes looking for it. My pessimism told me that it was so crowded I would never find it and someone already picked it up. I also assumed that whoever found it would not have admitted it. I feel like no one is honest these days. So I left.

The entire car ride the anger just boiled inside me. My hair was flying out of the window, obscuring my vision, but I didn't care! So what if I couldn't see?!? I was a miserable, frustrated, good-for-nothing girl who couldn't even be responsible to watch over one green piece of paper. On top of that, I was never going to finish my homework and would basically fail out of high school. Okay... maybe not that dramatic, but my thoughts conveyed feelings like that!

My mom replied, "You're kidding." I screamed, "No! Why would I be kidding?!?!?" I raced upstairs and plopped on my bed, tears welling up in my eyes. What would Dad think? Well... I haven't actually told him yet. But hopefully, after writing this blog post, I'll be comforted by God and ready for whatever comes. I know he'll give me a long lecture and be thoroughly upset. But I think I lectured myself hard enough!

The wonderful thing about God is He loves you no matter what. During this dramatic experience, a thought kept appearing in my head (straight from God I think!): God still loves me. No matter how many times you fail in life, Jesus will always be there to pick you up. I'll probably never find the $20. But is money really worth fussing over? "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal" (Matthew 6:19). It wouldn't matter if I lost a $100! Okay, I would be extremely upset, but everything is God's anyway. That $20 came from God and is still Gods. The earth and everything in it is His (Psalm 24:1).

Why should I be afraid of my Dad's reaction anyway? I honestly don't need my parents' love (although I am so blessed to have amazing parents). God created us with one desire: Him and His love. I always know that He is by my side and STILL LOVES ME. :) Everything else is Satan and his evil schemes.

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

A reoccurring song I've been listening to today is "When She Cries," by Britt Nicole (an awesome singer!!!). It's the perfect example of how God hears you, no matter what you go through in life. This example is far worse than my simple story, but it's the same principle. God hears me when I cry!

-$20 bill picture from Google

Blinded

Yesterday I almost got in a car accident. It's not like it was my fault or anything (although you might automatically assume that from previous incidents...). Actually, I was just minding my own business - staying in my lane - when a car randomly starts turning from the left, into my lane! It all happened in seconds, but he didn't even notice! To this day, he'll never know that he almost killed me. Luckily, my dad was in the car. He noticed it like nanoseconds before me, but he still pointed out how I didn't notice it soon enough and how if I had been alone, I would have surely gotten hit. Yeah, right Dad. I would be a nervous wreck if it weren't for you. Doesn't he realize I'm leaving (probably 2,000 miles away) for college a year?

Anyway, even a minute after this occurred, I was not only still shocked, but I was contemplating other deep meanings behind this. For example, the world is so blinded! Everyone is like that guy who nearly ran me over. They aren't even aware of their blindness. It's sad, really. Satan has blinded them from the truth with his appealing lies.

1 John 2:11 (NIV)

"But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him."

The lie says that you can get to Heaven by your own works. The truth says that only Jesus can save you by grace alone.

The lie says that the world can bring you happiness. It says that a boyfriend can comfort you all times and always be there for you. The truth says only Jesus can satisfy. He is the bread of life.

The lie says you should look out for #1 - yourself. The truth says to love your neighbor as yourself. And for God to be first priority.

The lie says to follow your heart. What if your heart is immoral? What if it doesn't align with God's will? The truth says to obey God and His commands - to trust in Him and His perfect plan.

The biggest lie of all says that Christianity is false. That there is no such thing as God. And that people who choose to believe in something they can't see are irrational and stupid. They think that science can and will prove everything. But that's what's so intriguing about faith - it can't be proved. God doesn't want to just show Himself. That would defeat the purpose. After all, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1). The truth is Jesus Christ. He is the Savior and King of the world. God created the universe and knows us better than we know ourselves. The truth will set you free!

Isaiah 35:4-6 (NIV)

"say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you."

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped."

I cannot wait for that day! Do you know how exciting it is to no longer be blind? The blind men Jesus healed knew exactly how it felt. One such man exclaimed in John 9:25, "One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!" My prayer is that God will open the eyes of my friends. So that they might see the truth. Like the man who almost crashed into my car, so is the rest of the world with faith. They are blind.

This is simply one example of a lie that so many people believe. They think that love will satisfy them. Yes, and no. The love of Jesus Christ satisfies all desires. But the love of the world brings heartbreak and tears.
It's never enough.

(blind picture found on Google)

Not ashamed of the Gospel

This may come as a shock, but I find it difficult to write a research paper without having it sound like a sermon. I just can't help but mention the gospel or the freedom that God brings. It's completely natural, because He saved my life and I yearn to give Him glory and share the truth.

The problem is when I become so biased that I seem like a judgmental bigot (someone who won't even listen to other people's opinions). I am sorry! I think one of the most difficult things I ever struggle with in life is judgment. Only God has the right to judge anyone. It's not my place. I just become so frustrated, that I'm willing to get in people's faces to bring them the truth.

This summer I'm (hopefully) going on a missions trip to Mexico. I have to admit, it's going to be scary. In my church I'm in a Sunday School class called "Underground Vietnam." It's so inspiring to watch Christians risk their lives for the sake of the Gospel! How could they do such a thing? Paul is a perfect example. He was actually debating which was better - to live now and carry out God's will, or to die for his work and go live in Heaven with Jesus!

Philippians 1:20 (NIV)

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."

Either way he won! That kind of mindset can cause you to accomplish great things in life. God can eliminate any fear and bring courage. I am so thankful He does. That's exactly why I am so bold. All of my friends know I am. They label it as "radical," but so what? I am a radical Jesus Freak. And nothing can stop my enthusiasm for the Bible. Nothing can take away God's love from me (Romans 8:38-39). I am not ashamed of the Gospel!

Romans 1:16 (NIV)

"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."

Why are there so many closet Christians? You know, Christians who are ashamed of the gospel. Or at least afraid of what their friends will think of them. They've said the prayer; they may even have fruit in their lives. But they are not an active witness for Jesus Christ. You might not even be able to differentiate between them and an atheist! We are called to be lights in the world and carry out the Great Commission - making disciples! That doesn't necessarily mean to immediately tell everyone you meet about Jesus (although I think that would be fun). The best approach is to live out your life like Jesus. To tell your family and friends about the Good News. And to not be ashamed of the Gospel!!! The POWER of God can defeat any evil. Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Be courageous!

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

-Image found on Google

Significance of Easter

What's so great about Easter? (Not the chocolate bunny or jelly beans...) Yes, I know Jesus is alive, but what else? Why is it significant...

It couldn't have stopped at Good Friday. I see the point of the cross as clearly as a newly windexed glass window, so why is Easter harder? After all, it's certainly a happier event - death isn't exactly rainbows and flowers! It wouldn't have been a miracle. If Jesus had simply died, there wouldn't be any strong foundation for our faith. Christianity is based solely on two events: the cross, and the grave. Just imagine what it would have been like: to physically see Jesus die on a cross, and then see Him alive 3 days later. Little did they know He was speaking of His body when He referred to "temple."

John 2:19 (NIV)

"Jesus answered them, 'Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.'"

Everyone must have been dumbfounded. Even Jesus' disciples who thought they knew the Messiah. But it's not what they expected. Expectations can be dangerous. The Jews thought He would save them from the Romans. They wanted a temporary salvation. But God had a larger purpose - one that would save all of humanity for generations to come! You see, Jesus is alive, therefore we are too!!! :)

Luke 20:38 (NIV)

"He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."

The BEST PART about Easter - and Christianity, in general - is Jesus' victory. About a month ago, I gave a speech by Billy Graham for public address in Speech Team. He gave the speech 3 days after 9-11.

"The cross tells us that God understands our sin and our suffering. For He took upon himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, our sins and our suffering. And from the cross, God declares "I love you. I know the heart aches, and the sorrows, and the pains that you feel, but I love you." The story does not end with the cross, for Easter points us beyond the tragedy of the cross to the empty tomb. It tells us that there is hope for eternal life, for Christ has conquered evil, and death, and hell. Yes, there's hope."

You see? Jesus has conquered death! That's why, "He's ALIVE," is so vital! If we choose to place our trust in Him, and believe in that He rose from the dead, we too can be alive, and experience freedom. The Gospel really is good news. If it wasn't, the disciples wouldn't have risked their lives to share it. If it wasn't, missionaries wouldn't be so bold. If faith wasn't something worth believing in, then I certainly wouldn't be so enthusiastic about it. In fact, my entire life would be different. It would be void of purpose, and I would spend eternity in Hell. Can you see why I am so thankful for the cross and the empty tomb? Can you truly SEE?

I jump up and down out of joy - because my Savior is alive! I praise His name with music - because He has overcome sin. I can't help but share the good news with everyone I meet - because this message is the only thing worth living for. My prayer is that you might have faith. Yes, it takes a HUGE leap. But Christ died for you. He rose from the grave in 3 days, and brings HOPE for every lost soul! Amen - we are victorious!!!

Happy Easter! :) Its message should bring you joy everyday.

1 Corinthians 15:54-57 (NIV)

"When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory.'
'Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

This song is currently my FAVORITE!!! I hope you enjoy it as well - it seems like the appropriate happy, uplifting Easter song. ;)

1 John 5:3-5 (NIV)

"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."

When I first read this, I was stunned. Isn't it just fantastic?!? WE (Christians) can overcome the WORLD!!! There you go: I can be queen of the world! ;) But let's not get a big head - only by the power of the cross, and Jesus Christ. Amen -for Jesus is risen!

-Gorgeous live oak tree picture taken by Bubbly at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. :) I figured a tree is a universal symbol for life - and Jesus brings us life! Happy Easter. :D

A Day of Forgiveness

Today, is a day of forgiveness. Jesus Christ died on a cross. Just for me. He loves me that much! I can't imagine how it felt - to bear the sin of the world on His shoulders. And we think we have burdens! The free gift of grace is the best thing available on this earth (see "The Free Gift of Grace"). I make mistakes (believe me!). Even today alone, I came home feeling like a failure! But God is forgiving. The blood of Jesus covers all of my sins. It washes them as white as snow. I am so thankful for that! The least I can do in response is obey God's commandment and forgive others like He forgave me.

Matthew 18:35 (NIV)

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Mark 11:25 (NIV)

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

For the past four months I have been in the process of forgiving someone who hurt me deeply. It's the first time I've actually had to forgive like this, so I'm new to this process. I wrote about it two weeks ago (see "He heals the brokenhearted"). I've also been praying about it - for God to give me courage, humility, and love. What better day to forgive than Good Friday? So... today, from the bottom of my heart, only through the power of God, I forgive. You have no idea how good it feels to finally let go! It was a burden. Yes, I was trusting God in other areas of my life, but I never realized I was still in bondage. Now, I can walk in freedom!!!

Over 2,000 years ago, Jesus was beaten, nailed to a cross, and murdered. The ONLY perfect man to ever come into this world - and we kill Him. I've learned that the world isn't fair, but this is just preposterous! We are all guilty when it comes down to the bottom line. We all fall short (Romans 3:23). Not one is righteous, and that's why all of us need a Savior. How blessed are we that God cares and loves us sooooooo much that He sent Jesus??!!

It's not easy - to forgive. It's the narrow road less traveled, that involves humility (giving up your right of being right), courage, and love (God is love!). I can't even attempt to comprehend what it would be like to forgive without God. If you don't know God, then you don't know love. If you don't know God, then you've never seen forgiveness. If you don't know God, you're still in bondage of sin. I feel sorry for you! Life is hard. And forgiveness is the harder route, but it also results in freedom, which makes it worth everything in the end. It doesn't benefit the person who harmed you. It helps YOU. God doesn't mention it over 100 times in the Bible for no reason - it's important! I genuinely have freedom because I chose the path of forgiveness. What will you choose?

Happy Good Friday everyone! Remember the cross.

1 John 4:10-11 (NIV)

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

-Cross picture taken by Bubbly (it's my brand new cross necklace!)

John 19:19 (NIV)

"Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS."

"Then they will know that I am the Lord..."

Lately, I've been frustrated. Monday I was over-exceedingly joyful - just because Jesus loves me and has blessed me with so much. However, I've also experienced some depressing moods. It's probably useless to dwell on the things of this world, but it just upsets me. People - a lot of people - are believing lies! They are falling for the greatest trap of all, and aren't hearing the truth. To think even more pessimistically, even when they do hear, their eyes, ears, and hearts are closed. This kind of thinking is perfect for reading Ezekiel.

Ezekiel, just like Jeremiah and all of the other prophets, is supposed to obey God in the midst of a rebellious Israel. God is so hurt and angry at His chosen people, that He wants to bring judgment on them. Constantly, He says, then, "They will know that I am the LORD" (Ezekiel 12:15 for example). It's hurts me to see peers, teachers, friends, and ordinary strangers, willingly turn away from God and deny His existence. Now, Satan wants me to think that it's hopeless. That nothing they are gone for good and I can't do anything. But I am reminded of God's truth - "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13). Reading Ezekiel also made me realize these things:

"you are living among a rebellious people. They have eyes to see but do not see
and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people." Ezekiel 12:2

"'The days are near when every vision will be fulfilled. For there will be no more false visions or flattering divinations among the people of Israel. But I the LORD will speak what I will, and it shall be fulfilled without delay. For in your days, you rebellious house, I will fulfill whatever I say, declares the Sovereign LORD.' " Ezekiel 12:23-25

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God." Ezekiel 11:19-20

Yes, the world is a rebellious people. They openly turn away from their Creator and seek evil. But God can melt away any heart of stone. He will fulfill His Word. I will be encouraged and strengthened by the Holy Spirit, who dwells in me. What's better, I can be a light to this lost nation. I can share the truth (Jesus Christ) with everyone I meet, and hopefully they will see God in me. It may be the only God they ever see. One by one, I will plant seeds for His kingdom, and share with a fire in my eyes, the only truth in the world!

1 Corinthians 3:7 (NIV)
"So neither he who plants nor he who waters
is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

-Flower picture taken by Bubbly. :) Isn't it the perfect example of spring? I love how God makes everything grow!