He hears me when I cry

I lost a $20 bill today. If that's not a tragedy, then it is when you realize it was my dad's $20. With such a simple screw-up, I wasn't exactly okay with the situation. Instead of just letting it go and saying, "Oh well," I decided to beat myself up over it for an hour. I always tell myself not to cry, because it's not worth it, but I usually end up saying goodbye to a few tears...

Add that to an infinite amount of homework, and I couldn't help but explode. I didn't even want to go to the grocery store for my mom - so I was already in a bad mood. My dad handed me a $20 and I stuck it in the grocery list. I would have just put it in my pocket, but I was wearing a dress and couldn't. The store was crowded! So as I rushed to find the groceries, I got out the list and... oops... somehow the $20 must have fallen out. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I wanted to scream when I got to the register and couldn't find it. Using my money to pay for the $6 worth of groceries, I ran around for a few minutes looking for it. My pessimism told me that it was so crowded I would never find it and someone already picked it up. I also assumed that whoever found it would not have admitted it. I feel like no one is honest these days. So I left.

The entire car ride the anger just boiled inside me. My hair was flying out of the window, obscuring my vision, but I didn't care! So what if I couldn't see?!? I was a miserable, frustrated, good-for-nothing girl who couldn't even be responsible to watch over one green piece of paper. On top of that, I was never going to finish my homework and would basically fail out of high school. Okay... maybe not that dramatic, but my thoughts conveyed feelings like that!

My mom replied, "You're kidding." I screamed, "No! Why would I be kidding?!?!?" I raced upstairs and plopped on my bed, tears welling up in my eyes. What would Dad think? Well... I haven't actually told him yet. But hopefully, after writing this blog post, I'll be comforted by God and ready for whatever comes. I know he'll give me a long lecture and be thoroughly upset. But I think I lectured myself hard enough!

The wonderful thing about God is He loves you no matter what. During this dramatic experience, a thought kept appearing in my head (straight from God I think!): God still loves me. No matter how many times you fail in life, Jesus will always be there to pick you up. I'll probably never find the $20. But is money really worth fussing over? "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal" (Matthew 6:19). It wouldn't matter if I lost a $100! Okay, I would be extremely upset, but everything is God's anyway. That $20 came from God and is still Gods. The earth and everything in it is His (Psalm 24:1).

Why should I be afraid of my Dad's reaction anyway? I honestly don't need my parents' love (although I am so blessed to have amazing parents). God created us with one desire: Him and His love. I always know that He is by my side and STILL LOVES ME. :) Everything else is Satan and his evil schemes.

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

A reoccurring song I've been listening to today is "When She Cries," by Britt Nicole (an awesome singer!!!). It's the perfect example of how God hears you, no matter what you go through in life. This example is far worse than my simple story, but it's the same principle. God hears me when I cry!

-$20 bill picture from Google