I didn't get a chance to finish my story from the previous post about last week. So on Saturday I blew it again. God has been trying to teach me how to relax and not stress or freak out so much about everything all the time! It's extremely difficult to just let Him take the wheel. In this case, literally, it was letting my dad take the wheel...It was the day after the FCA lock-in, so I was running on 3 hours of sleep. After playing a horribly out of tune quartet for the all-state contest, I went home to take a 2 hour nap. You guessed it - I slept through my alarm. By some miracle, I woke up at a quarter till 12 (when we performed for chamber orchestra), just enough time to make it if we left right away. Unfortunately, my dad isn't perfect and has a high tendency to be late... to EVERYTHING. He decided to take the bright, hot red 9-11 Porsche. You might be thinking I'm the luckiest girl in the world, but I thought completely contrary. I hate the porsch. It not only practically consumes my dad's life, but it doesn't work 90% of the time, it is totally unnecessary, and everyone stares at it. I do like to be the center of attention when I give speeches or talk, but for this, I'd rather be invisible. Not only that, but I almost died of hyperventilation due to the fear of getting a ticket, which increasing 700% when you get in this speed demon of a car. The BRIGHT RED doesn't help the cause either. Add that to my dad actually speeding overexessively and you've got a freaked out little girl. My dad also decided to take the longest route possible in the worst traffic ever. I am fairly confident we would have made it on time if we took the interstate - the logical way. But Dad said he was taking the "short cut." It was the longest possible way to get there. You couldn't have made it any longer if you tried! We arrived over 10 minutes late, and I was so sick of life.
After I discovered (as I already pessimistically predicted), I completely missed the performance. I didn't get to do my minor solo, and I got up from my glamorous nap for nothing. When I went outside to leave for more sleep, my dad was no where to be found. That's just lovely! You know, the logical place to meet would be the car. But, no. My dad decided to go inside as soon as he parked to go find me, even though I specifically told him they were already done and it would only take a minute. I was SO ANGRY that I just wanted to.... well I don't know. What are you supposed to do with that anger?!? After another 15-20 minutes, we finally got back in the horrific porsch to go home. My dad could sense the anger simmering inside my body. He was perfectly calm and cool. Nothing ever phases him! Well, at that moment, that's a blessing.
My dad told me the perfect prayer quote, "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can." This saying hit me hard. Really, there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix the problem. Unless I invent a time machine, there is never any hope that I will make it on time, now. So why in the world should I nearly have a heart attack to worry over something in the past? Honestly, it makes more logical sense to worry about the future, versus the past, but I worry about all 3 - past, present, and future! :( If it doesn't do any good, then it's not worth wasting my energy over. But, you'd think I would have learned that before... you'd think I would have learned my lesson from the past 100 events similar to this. No. This is one lesson I don't think I'll ever fully learn - after all, is there any one concept you can learn once and be done with? With imperfect humans, there is never a checklist. This is one thing I've learned over the past year, yet I still get upset over this fact. The good news is, we have a perfect God, who loves us as we are - imperfections and all. And His word gives us the encouragement we need to live in a fallen world, to cope with our sin, and to walk in freedom.
My dad told me the perfect prayer quote, "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can." This saying hit me hard. Really, there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix the problem. Unless I invent a time machine, there is never any hope that I will make it on time, now. So why in the world should I nearly have a heart attack to worry over something in the past? Honestly, it makes more logical sense to worry about the future, versus the past, but I worry about all 3 - past, present, and future! :( If it doesn't do any good, then it's not worth wasting my energy over. But, you'd think I would have learned that before... you'd think I would have learned my lesson from the past 100 events similar to this. No. This is one lesson I don't think I'll ever fully learn - after all, is there any one concept you can learn once and be done with? With imperfect humans, there is never a checklist. This is one thing I've learned over the past year, yet I still get upset over this fact. The good news is, we have a perfect God, who loves us as we are - imperfections and all. And His word gives us the encouragement we need to live in a fallen world, to cope with our sin, and to walk in freedom.
-Red 9-11 Porsche picture taken by my dad (it's his pride and joy... :P)Matthew 6:27 (NIV)
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
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