Cafeteria Chaos

'Twas my last day in a high school cafeteria... It's ironic that it was my most eventful, and most anger-provoking day. Never before have I seen such a strong display of rudeness, arrogance, and insecurities in my life! My goals in writing this blog post are to: a) vent out my feelings of intense anger b) explain my problems so others can comment and give me advice, and c) attempt to discover a solution to this mess in the hopes of finding a "moral of the story."

My school is crowded. With a student body of 1,800, we have four separate lunch periods and even then lunch is incredibly crowded! My "lunch group" includes me and five friends, so it's not that large. However, it's amazing how much tension a small group like mine can create. I chose one of the few open tables with my friend Erica. In a minute, the rest of our group joined. After five minutes of eating, a jock sophomore walks up to our table and demands to know why we are there in his spot. My bold friend Tanatswa tells him that it's a first come first serve basis and we got there first. To me, this argument seems so simple. Add the fact that we're seniors, they're sophomores, and it's undeniably in our favor, right? I guess the possible amount of arrogance in a human being exceeds my expectations. He and his friends made such a huge deal out of it, that they whispered about us and took a picture of us, and then for the finale: him and a pack of burly sophomore jock boys come up to our table towards the end of lunch and ask us the question. They demand that we move and yell at us for being in their seats.

"I'm sorry?!? Is this middle school?! Do you have your name written on it? Since when do we have assigned seats? What gives you the right to kick us out? Do you see any other seats nearby that we could sit in? REALLY?!?!?!?" Some of my friends were on the brink of punching them in the face. Seriously, how arrogant can you get? Then one of the nearby girls said in a sassy voice, "We sit here everyday. We sat here before we got our lunches." Okay, I said to my friends afterwords, do they seriously expect us to read their minds that they were going to sit here? Do they really think we saw them five minutes earlier and assume they were coming back?" I was so furious, that I remained quiet while my bold friends yelled back. We remained our ground, until I suggested we go back to class. I was done eating my pizza and no longer wished to engage in the argument. I concluded that they were the biggest jerks to walk this planet and that they have no right to think they're superior enough to expect us to move for them! It's preposterous!

The question is, how do I handle this? Mentally, emotionally, in my mind right now, I am having difficulties. I know it's wrong to hate them or call them jerks, but did my group handle it correctly? The Bible says the first shall be last and the last shall be first, but am I supposed to submissively let their pride win? I am too stubborn to simply let them win. I want to teach them a lesson! I think that there is a fine line between being respectful and kind, and standing up for yourself. In this situation, I'm still confused. What was God trying to teach me? Did He teach them anything? How can He let them drown in their arrogance like that? Why doesn't He step up and humble them immediately?

2 Timothy 1:7 says “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” Does this mean that we did the right thing? I feel like this verse is suggesting that being timid is not advised, but how does that apply to my situation?

Honestly, I'm not 100% sure on what to do in the situation at the time, but I do know how to handle my feelings now. Do you remember when Jesus talked about forgiveness? And Peter came up to Jesus and asked Him how many times he should forgive his brother? What He meant was that we should always forgive, no matter how many times someone wrongs us. Who am I to not forgive someone else when Jesus forgave me and all my sin?

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV ©2010)

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

My mom told me some wise advice the other day. She said you should never judge people because most are simply lost souls. Because they have that hole in their life and lack Jesus, they will never understand you. Until they come to Jesus, they'll never truly experience the peace and joy that comes with it. Every time I see people who mess up, I am so quick to judge and look at them despicably. This is so wrong! Who am I to judge those who are just as sinful as me? Who am I to judge those who don't have Jesus in their lives? That should be all the more reason for compassion towards them. I feel genuinely sorry that they lack a purpose in their life. I can't imagine what it would be like to not know where I'm going when I die, or be unaware that there is a powerful God who loves me and lives in me? WHO AM I TO JUDGE THOSE "JERKS" TODAY? WHO AM I TO CALL THEM JERKS?!

God, please forgive me and allow me to let this go. Let me forgive them and everyone who does wrong against me. It doesn't matter what I prove or how right I am. What matters is who I am in You, Lord Jesus, and how I serve You here on this earth. Teach me to forgive unconditionally and show them Your LOVE <3.><


Last picture taken by Bubbly, previous pictures are linked to their sources: cafeteria, jerk pic.

Chick-Flicks and the Ficticious Prince Charming

Wow. It feels like I haven't blogged in years! When the screen came up after I clicked "new post," I was in shock, my mouth gaping to the floor while sentimentality flooded my thoughts. Well, here goes nothing. I'm a little rusty, but I'm up for a shot! Why not blog? Even if no ones reads it... it's therapy for me! (not to mention enjoyable - that too)
Do you like chick flicks? You know - the super girly movies where every girl in the audience sighs excessively, dreaming of the day her prince charming will rush onto the scene and sweep her up out of a field of flowers, sunlight accentuating his gorgeously dark brown hair and perfect smile? Okay, so I could have done without the exaggerated, corny definition; but it was fun to write! ;) You have to admit, despite my drastically unrealistic version, most chick-flicks are overly cliche. Like all guys are really that smooth and will say lines that make your heart swell. PLEASE! Give them a break. No guy is perfect. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Ling (that's Chinese :D). The burning question is, how are girls ever supposed to satisfy their longing desire for romantic perfection? Are we supposed to stock up on chick-flicks for the rest of our lives, hoping that they'll fill in the gaps our husbands leave? If happily-ever-after is a phony, then is all of humanity utterly doomed for destruction and misery? (Okay, it's not that dramatic, but still. For every problem, there has to be a solution, right?)

Listen closely, my friends. This story is all too familiar to me, but perhaps we all need some refreshing. Once upon a time, a 17 year old girl, dying for more chick-flicks, finished watching Aladdin. As Princess Jasmine rode away with her "prince" on a magic carpet, she didn't want it to end! She simply had to see more, craving to get a taste of real romance. To smell the sweet rose and feel the happiness inside when a guy tells her she's beautiful. But everything was crushed. Like a mirror thrown on the floor, shattered to pieces, was this girls' spirit when she realized the inevitable truth of love: it's not perfect. Marriages fail. Fights happen. And ultimately, people fail. Despite what Disney may claim, prince charming isn't all he's made up to be. He's flawed. That's right - HE'S HUMAN. Are there times when you feel angry and lose your temper? When you lash out at your family and somehow acquire that "sass" and "attitude"? You can't expect your husband to be better. The underlying problem with nearly every chick-flick is the underrepresented reality that happily-ever-after doesn't mean there aren't fights, tears, pain, hurt, and moments when the "D" word seems uncontainable. No, happily-ever-after means that through those seasons in the valley, you and your spouse can work through the issues together, as a team, and display true love. Love is not saying "I love you." We all know how cliche that becomes. In fact, so cliche that it loses its value on so many occasions. Love is shown by action.

What greater love than f or a friend to lay down His life? What greater love than perfect love that casts out fear? What greater love than Jesus Christ dying on the cross, bearing the sin of the world, for the salvation of those who believe? I am a child of God by grace, and let me tell you, there is no greater love. No hay amor mas grande (that's what my Spanish Bible says on the cover-picture to the left). Chick-flicks are cute and fun. They satisfy now. In ten years my future husband will love me and be romantic (I hope). However, both of these are temporary. A two-hour long movie isn't enough for a 24 hour day, let alone a whole lifetime. A husband isn't perfect enough to satisfy all of my need s. This is one 100% guarantee: I will be let down. He will let me down. But you know who won't? My best friend Jesus will never let me down. He is my everlasting strength and His perfect love is more than enough for me. Bringing this story to a close, as that 17 year old girl contemplated these thoughts, God decided to reveal wise and encouraging words to her from Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 17:5-8 (NIV)

⁵ This is what the LORD says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD.⁶ That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

"None loves greater than this"

Mr. Fictitious Prince Charming may bring roses and sweetly tell you romantic lines and phrases, but my God created the rose with perfect love, and wrote me an entire book, just because He loves me . He loves me even when I'm not so pretty and nice. He loves me by action, actively blessing me every day. He paints the sunrise and sunset so I can admire His beauty daily. I thank God for chick-flicks, but I am certain that God is the only One who can satisfy all of my needs. Praise Jesus Christ that I am loved! He tells me I'm beautiful every day... <3



Sources: roses, happily ever after 1, aladdin and jasmine, amor y Jesus, no hay amor mas grande, happily ever after 2

Don't be too serious, have fun

Why is it I always blog after I cry? Perhaps it's because writing is sort of like therapy for me. Or maybe because through my pain, I've come across some revelation or epiphany and developed a new perspective. Either way, tears are always followed by writing, in my case. Whether it's a prayer journal or a blog post.

What's the dilemma this time? More stress from homework? Family problems? Relationships? Failure? Loneliness? Well... kind of. I guess a mix of each of these could suffice, but it's this one thing, you see: HOMECOMING.

I don't know why school dances are so big in high school, but it's exciting to see who's going with who. Except... when you're stuck as the odd one out. The dateless girl. That's me! There's nothing wrong with me. I'm attractive, smart, nice, and a Christian with morals! These are all good qualities, right? So WHY hasn't at least one boy out of 1800 asked me?!?! It's not like I'll say no! It's not like they're asking for my hand in marriage, just a simple and sweet high school dance. Instead, the girls who do have dates are flirtatious, immodest, immoral, and superficial. This is a stereotype, but it seems to be a trend! Where have all of the nice boys then? Are they too asking girls like this? AHHHHH I just want to scream I'm so frustrated. Over the past week I've been dwelling on this way too much, but it's my senior year! I know guys like me... but they're just too scared! High school is SO confusing. I have friends that are also in my situation. We simply don't understand. All I want is a date to homecoming. Well... that's not going to happen.

I told myself I had given up and was just going to hang out with my girl friends. But I kept comparing myself to the world's standards. I just feel like such a loser! In the world's eyes, I am! Dateless to homecoming is just not acceptable. But since when did I compare myself to them?!? I am a child of God. His precious creation. He admires my beauty way more than a high school teenage boy. He also knows how much I'm worth. I'm not a loser, I just need a new perspective. Thanks to God, my mom happened to deliver that dose of perspective just in time.

I don't know if you've noticed from this blog, but I happen to be an extremely sensitive, serious, God-fearing, Christian girl. In fact, I have so many emotions just wandering through my body, that sometimes I cry for no reason at all (or at least such an insignificant reason as to practically be pointless). On Saturday I cried because my mom told me not to get groceries. Yeah - that pathetic. But sometimes our thoughts twist the truth. In this case, it also magnified it! I was so determined to pick up some groceries after work that I even kept a list of the sale items while serving customers. My mom was actually trying to help me out by saying that I didn't have to go out of my way. But to me, it was like the end of the world! This feeling of dread came over me, like a luminous gray cloud ready to let out its torment. All because of groceries? Yeah - talk about out of perspective.

Today was kind of like that. But with more validation than groceries. ;) I was at an FCA leadership meeting and it wasn't going well, according to my standards, that is. We were off task and no one was paying attention to me trying to plan the next events. My brother and his friend were goofing off looking at sports' scores on the smartboard when I was honestly trying to do everything! Then I wanted to pray and read the Bible and they just didn't show the same passion as me. It's like they weren't excited about God!

WHOA. Stop right there. What's wrong with this picture? First of all, I can't judge how anyone is in their walk with God - it's not my place. Secondly, I shouldn't have been so angry that it wasn't going how I planned. Not everything in life happens because it's written in a spiral notebook - it's not the law! Only God sets things in stone (not just the Ten Commandments).

Continuing with the story.... After the meeting the subject of homecoming came up. My brother and his friend were discussing the best ways to ask girls to the dance (my brother baked a cake). BAD IDEA. I could only dream of someone taking the thought to ask me, let alone in a romantic or sweet way!!! Then the other girl said that she had been asked but said no. The guy said, "Well at least you got asked and declined!" This, was heart-wrenching. Now I really felt like a loser and the clouds broke loose again. I started crying, right in front of them. Well, if you know guys at all, they hate it when girls cry. So... they left. Just like that. Which really just made me cry more. But the other girl gave me a hug and cheered me up, kind of. I kind of felt like they had no sympathy for me. Like the guys just left me standing in the rain. I was really hurt. Sure, it was a small occurence, but then, it felt like the dooms day.

I came home upset, the frustration still stirring inside my mind. It didn't help that my brother had on secular radio. Especially when it was a romantically sad country song about missing their significant other. REALLY? Even asking three times to turn it off didn't help. Again: NO SYMPATHY! I was reminded the other day that exercise reduces stress, so I decided to go for a bike ride. Oh boy. I hadn't ridden my bike in over a year. Yeah - I'm that much of an athlete! ;) It was rusty at first, and kind of the whole way. By the end of the .2 mile ride, I was exhausted! :P I came home, accidentally spilled water on myself, and then went outside to think. God happened to place a lilac bush in our back yard, well my dad did, but He created it, and the monarch butterflies to attract it! It was the most astonishing scene: four perfect and gorgeous, orange and black, monarch butterflies were just peacefully smelling the flowers, fluttering like a bunch of plum fairies (if they existed). They didn't mind my camera, zooming in on their intricate design. I was so blessed to have this photo opportunity. I even recorded some of their fluttery wings. But it terminated when my mother called me in for supper.

I was putting forth a huge amount of effort into enjoying the delicious green beans (MY FAVORITE) and sweet ham balls (with brown sugar!), but it wasn't working. With every bite came this knot in my heart. You know that feeling? When you can't even swallow your own saliva, let alone food because of the increasing frustration building up like an avalanche, fueled by a plethora of lies crowding your mind and thought process? It was like a trillion times more complicated then that sentence, to give you an idea. You can probably anticipate my reaction when my mother asked me the simple question, "How was school today?"

I wanted to leave right then and there - go to my room, the only safety zone to hide my tears. But there's no running with Mom. She is my role model and life-long counselor. Out of the... hold on. I'm trying to calculate the number of times I've cried in my life (I will need a calculator). Well my initial guess is wrong. I thought the number could be 7,000 but I've only been alive for a little over 6,000. Ooooops! Perhaps I've cried 700 times. Meaning at least 3 times a month (I think). Back to my point: out of the 700 times I've cried, my mother has probably witnessed anywhere from 125-350 of those times. WOW. Over 100 different times, she's been there to hug me and comfort me. What a mother God has blessed me with. Thank-you God! :)

Well this time, she gave me some shocking advice. She said, "Christina, don't be so serious. Relax. Have fun." WHAT? Relax? Have fun? This advice was inconceivable to me. Can you see the obvious problem though? I'm SO SERIOUS that I don't even realize my problem and need for fun. Honestly, I hardly ever think to add fun into any life equation. It's not a necessity right? Why should it be considered when there are so many more important things to do?!? I mean, there's homework, chores, work, and church stuff. There's Bible reading and prayer, volunteering. Applying for scholarships and colleges. Spanish and Chinese club. My Bible study! There's FCA and orchestra, tennis and eating healthy.... EIYIYI I HAVE NO LIFE. Well, I do. It just doesn't appear in the form of a SOCIAL LIFE. Yeah - that one thing that distinguishes high school from the adult world (no offense to any adults). My brother certainly doesn't struggle with this one fact. He's so opposite that he focuses on the social life too much. My parents always say, if we could just mesh into one person, we'd be the perfect child. Instead, they got both extreme ends of the spectrum. Go figure.

Let's wrap this one around my head: maybe one of the reasons guys aren't asking me to homecoming is because they see the fact that I don't have a social life and run away. After all, why have a party-pooper, no fun girl for a date? Now, I'm being a little harsh on myself (I always am), but it's party true! I don't exactly have a nonexistent social life, it's just measured in nanoseconds compared to my brother's days.

God always seems to put the right resources into your hands with perfect timing. I randomly decided to read this children's devotional book called "The Prayer of Jabez Devotions for Kids" by Bruce Wilkinson. The entire book is based off of one seemingly insignificant verse in 1 Chronicles (of all places!):

1 Chronicles 4:10

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.

Have you even heard of Jabez before?!? He's certainly not as popular as Abraham, David, and Paul the Apostle! What's even more peculiar is the meaning of Jabez's name: PAIN. That's right, his mother bore him in so much pain, that she would take the honor of naming him pain! In Biblical times, the meaning of a name was taken seriously. It was kind of like a destiny. Jabez certainly didn't want a destiny of pain! So he honorably asked God to bless him. Now, from the perspective of a legalistic, "Bible-banging," judgmental Christian (like myself... I'll admit I have flaws), it would seem proposterous to even think about asking God to bless you! But there's the problem: God wants the best for you! A loving and compassionate God full of grace and mercy would only want to see me happy. My mom told me, "Do you think God wants to see you always serious and crying about this?!?" I wanted so badly to confidently say no, but it only made me cry more because I hadn't realized it!

I read day 10 tomorrow in the Prayer of Jabez. After the end of each chapter it gives a "What the Big Idea?" summary. Here are the following summaries for the first 9 chapters:

1. If God carries a wallet, it has your snapshot in it - and He smiles when He looks at it.
2. God is awesome, even when we stay in the crowd, and we have a chance to see Him up close.
3. God has packages in heaven with your name on them - unclaimed. What's in the first box? Only one way to find out!
4. In the eyes of Jesus, there's no such thing as a loser. Everybody who asks for His blessings wins big!
5. Sticks and stones may break bones, but God's names for me will always heal me.
6. Tell Him what you want, and ask Him to give you what you need. Then, increasingly, they'll become the same thing.
7. When you stand in the shower of God's blessings, it makes you want to sing!
8. Every day has a new opportunity for me. The important thing is to ask God to help me recognize it.
9. Faith is going to the edge of your borders - and taking one more step.

One of the examples the author gave was really clever. Imagine Christmas day: presents piled high to the tree, everyone excited with anticipation. But no one opens the presents because they feel too greedy. It's January, then June, and still not a present unwrapped. Actually, they've multiplied and now flooding into the other rooms in the house! This is of course unrealistic, but it is realistic of our spiritual blessings. All of us are like the family in the scenario, and all we need to do is ask God to give us blessings!

Selfish? Not a chance. You're asking for the things God has already reserved for you. He has chosen these gifts as blessings for your benefit. They have to do with your heart's desire and with healing hurts that bother you. God gives you these gifts to make you a better, happier, stronger person. He wants to do so much for you, but He won't force His blessings on you. He wants you to ask. So, go ahead. Do it right now. Ask God to bless you. Ask Him to give you the blessings He is just waiting to shower upon your life.

Wow. When was the last time you asked God to bless you? I don't remember ever asking this. How sad is that? I'm missing out on piles and rooms full of presents that I never knew existed. I'd like to point out an important point above in the list of chapter themes. Look at chapter 6: "Tell Him what you want, and ask Him to give you what you need. Then, increasingly, they'll become the same thing." It's not like we're asking God for a million dollars, two mansions, a brand new Ferrari, and a 70 inch big screen TV. Perhaps that is what you want, who doesn't? But the closer you are to God, the more you start desiring what He wants for you. In the previous example, a rich life isn't necessarily going to make you happy. Maybe God will bless you with money, but there's a lot more in life than dollar signs. I know God has AWESOME things in store for us. See for yourself!

Malachi 3:10

Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

-Tear picture, homecoming cookies pic, groceries pic, how was school today comic, prayer of jabez book pic, Christmas presents pic all found on Google. AWESOME PURPLE FLOWER PICTURE taken by me, Bubbly ;)

Forward: I apologize for this being such a massively long post. I spent two night writing it because I had to go to bed the first night! I finished it on the 18th, so I developed a different perspective on the original issue. I still don't have a date to homecoming, but I don't mind that much. Of course, I was a little angry when a girl I know got asked by TWO guys on the same day and isn't even going to homecoming! :P Why is life so unfair? Anyways, it took me a week for my mom's advice to sink in. Fun. It's a word. And it's not bad! Blessings. They're God's gifts for me to ask for! He loves me and therefore wants me to be happy. :) My wants will increasingly become His desires. I'm starting to get the hint God doesn't want me to go to homecoming. We'll see. Either way, I will keep an open mind to what He has in store for me. How exciting! It's just like opening a Christmas present. Perhaps it's a movie night, karaoke night, line dancing, or just hanging out with some friends. I could even still wear my dress out to dinner before hand (and not go to the dance). There's way more options than I can even see! You know the saying "God works in mysterious ways"? It's so true! The fun part is trusting Him and seeing what surprises He'll bring. LONG BLOG POST SHORT: don't be too serious, have fun! ;)

And THAT concludes my story. For now.......

Status Update: I'm still madly in love with God! ;)

Perhaps you're wondering, where has Bubbly been all summer? Well... I've been quite busy, as usual. But... that's not exactly a good thing. You see, I've been taking this college Chinese class because I randomly decided I want to learn Chinese! Some wise advice: never take Chinese unless you're willing to work super hard. ^^ It was a bumpy, treacherous road for the first week. I thought I was going to die! Slight exaggeration there, but nevertheless, I struggled so much with the pronunciation! You'll probably guess what I'll say next, which has something to do with... GOD. :) The entire class was divinely appointed. ;) He sent me a good friend to help me with Chinese. And in return, I shared the Gospel and couldn't stop talking about God! What else could I say? He's my Savior and the Creator of the Universe! A Dude that awesome is worthy of all my praise and energy. Therefore, my words can't contain enough joy in them to describe the King of Kings! Not even all of the exclamation marks in the world could reflect the honor and glory He deserves. Or how glad I am that He's my Father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (37 is just a glimpse. ^^ ) Oh, I know! The song "Sing Along" by Sixteen Cities also gives a preview of His AWESOMENESS. :D I love it when it gets stuck in my head. I can't stop singing!

Psalm 30:4 (New King James Version)

"Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His,
And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name."

Wow. Isn't God... Magnificent. Glorious. Awesome. Perfect. Awe-inspiring. ? I am flabbergasted every time I hear that song! Who created music? God. Who created the stars, the mountains, colors? God. Who created you and me? God. I just can't get enough of Him. He loves me. A sinner - a speck of an imperfection on this planet. And yet He knows me name. My personality. My pain. Every hair on my head! Can't you see? I'm madly in love with God.

Call me crazy. Actually, a Jesus Freak is the correct term. ;) But, we, followers of Christ, are His bride.

Revelation 19:7 (NIV)

"Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready."

What a scene that will be. When Jesus Christ comes to marry His bride - the church. Tenth Avenue North has a song called "Beloved." It's a love song from God. To His bride! Oh how happy this song makes me! To remember how much Jesus loves me. And to know that I'm more beautiful than anything in His creation! Even the stars and the sweet music... The piano in this song is gorgeous ;)

"Chasing lovers that won't satisfy. Won't you let me make you my bride. You will drink of my lips and taste new life. You're my beloved...

Death shall not part us. It's you I died for. For better or worse. Forever we'll be. My love it unites us. And it binds you to me. It's a mystery."

God - You are my Prince Charming. My first love. <3





Another beautiful and inspiring song from Tenth Avenue North... :)

-Pictures both taken in Nassau, Bahamas by Bubbly <3
For a related blog post read "Relationships"

It changed my life forever!

Nassau, Bahamas Mission Trip – It changed my life forever!

Last winter I was extremely doubtful this trip would become a reality. We had planned on going to Monterrey, Mexico to teach little children the gospel message through the means of a colored soccer ball. I was so excited to finally use my Spanish speaking skills and truly carry out the Great Commission:

Matthew 28:19-20

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Unfortunately, my parents were becoming increasingly worried due to the "drug wars" occurring throughout Mexico. As they watched the news explain random American kidnappings and murders, they would not let their only daughter risk her life just for one week of mission work. I saw their point of view, but was too eager to think clearly. And plus, if I died, I'd go to Heaven. I really didn't see where the problem was… But I was being selfish. My parents, family, and friends would be devastated, and it was not worth it to take that large of a risk – regardless of what the Great Commission said. I'm only 16 years old!

So I prayed about it. God is always faithful and true to His promises, according to His perfect and glorious plan. He would not let my enthusiasm dwindle. No. He just had something different in store for me… After my parents kept sending e-mail after e-mail of news stories regarding Mexico and some specifically Monterrey, my youth pastor called for an emergency meeting. You see, we had a back-up plan! Well, God did. J For the safety and well-being of the youth group mission adventurers, we decided it would be best to move the trip to a different location. Since we didn't want to miss out on the "foreign country" experience, we booked flights to Nassau, Bahamas!

None of us really had a clue what we'd be doing in Nassau. Actually, we didn't fully find out until we got there! At first we were told we would be building and repairing houses for Haiti refugees that fled to the Bahamas. Then we were informed we would be working at an orphanage with children kindergarten through 6th grade. We assumed we would be repairing the orphanage and doing a sort of VBS (vacation Bible school) with the children. When we arrived at the hotel, we learned that we would be painting the orphanage. And when we finally got to the orphanage, we discovered they were not "little" kids. The youngest was 8 and most were between 13 and 15 years old! We were surprised to be working with children our own age, but God used this as an advantage to connecting with the kids.

We painted the orphanage Monday through Friday 10 in the morning till 3 in the afternoon! It felt like such an accomplishment when we finally finished painting the entire exterior of the building. From 3 to 4:30, we played with the kids and got to know them. On Wednesday, we had 4 hours with them due to an orphanage meeting. During this time, we had a gigantic water balloon fight! We met many new children and got to know most of them on a first name basis. Throughout the week, some even helped us paint! We used this opportunity to talk to them about God and learn about their circumstance. These kids felt alone, rejected, and abandoned. Some had 8 or 9 siblings and their parents just couldn't take care of them. Others had deceased parents and some were in the hospital, paralyzed or diseased. There were a few "outcasts" of society – thrown into an orphanage by their family because of mental illnesses. Yet, with all of these feelings of anger and confusion, these kids were still quick to love. This shocked me most of all.

We would arrive at the orphanage and immediately kids would run up to the bus and once we stepped foot we would be drowned in hugs! I have never experienced so many hugs at once! Everyone was so friendly and yet they had nothing. They weren't allowed money of their own and were bored most of the day. Most stayed in their dark rooms sleeping the day away. When we got there, everyone was watching movies from portable DVD players – the only technology they were really allowed. What a monotonous, boring life! I felt so sorry for those children. The adult workers didn't treat them very lovingly, either. For the most part, their lives were void of any love! God sent us there to try and show them His love – because only God's love can fill the void in all our hearts. Yes, they were fatherless, but God is the perfect Father. Yes, they had enough food to eat, but most were unaware that Jesus is the bread of life – that truly satisfies all hunger. Yes, they had a roof over their heads, but God is the ultimate shelter and place of refuge. He comforts all!

John 10:10

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I was expecting God to give me opportunities to witness to the kids and share the gospel with them. Although He did let me share the gospel message with everyone on the last day, He had a separate and unexpected mission for me. You see, during the water balloon fight on Wednesday, I met this 14 year old boy named Damian. I asked him to come paint with me on Friday and he agreed. We started talking and found that we had so much in common! For example, he had a dog named Shadow and I had a dog named Midnight, both completely black with white chests and paws. Anyway, we had many similar interests, but most importantly, we were both Christians!

I was praying for courage to talk to the kids about God all week, and I finally got the chance. God gave me boldness and bravery to ask Damian if he "considered" himself a Christian. He said, yes and went into detail as why. This guy had seriously committed his life to Christ! I was enthusiastic and shared my testimony with him. Supposedly, he once memorized the entire book of Philippians – my favorite book of the Bible! As I was talking to this brother in Christ, we shared each others' hopes, dreams, and struggles. I told him about how I lost my only friend in 6th grade because I had tried to share my faith with her. Little did I know, he was struggling with the same issue! He explained how he was very lonely and didn't have many friends because of his faith. The orphanage is a Christian orphanage. All of the children are required to attend church every Sunday. All of them have heard the gospel message and understands the concepts. However, few actually consider themselves Christians. Few live their lives for Jesus. And those few are persecuted! God used me in the most unexpected way by encouraging Damian to share his faith despite the persecution. I encouraged him to pray for courage and told him I am convinced God put him in that orphanage for a reason – to be a light in that dark place and proclaim the good news. He looked at me with a skeptical look and doubted that! I told him I am and would continue to pray for him. I shared so many experiences and stories and told him about my blog. At the end of the day, after many pictures, I gave him my e-mail and told him to get a Facebook. I haven't contacted him yet, but he remains in my prayers.

I am so thankful God gave me such a great opportunity and learning experience. It taught me that witnessing and carrying out the Great Commission as a Christian is important, but only half the importance. The other half is encouraging each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Hebrews 3:13

^"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

God even proved his point to me while on the airplane. He purposely sat me next to a born-again Christian woman from the Bahamas on her way to Atlanta for a shopping trip. She and I also had so much in common! I desire to major in communications, which she majored in! She's a counselor at a Bahamian university and gave me advice on my future. She encouraged me by telling me God would use me to do great things in life and how I would be very successful. She told me that all of us impacted those children's lives at the orphanage in more ways then we'll ever know. We both agreed that God placed us seated together on that airplane for a reason. It was the perfect way to end my mountain top experience. I will never forget this trip. It has impacted me so much. I feel blessed. God has blessed me and my family with so much! I have parents who love me dearly, and yet take advantage of them. I take for granted my family and my God. I am so fortunate to have the God of the universe as a best friend. I am so thankful to know that my eternity is in Heaven, in fellowship with Jesus Christ, the Savior of my life. My desire is that each of those children might experience that and know that God loves them. My desire is that Damian and the other few Christians might be encouraged to be bold and pray for courage. My desire is that I will use this experience to be a better daughter, sister, friend, and follower of Christ.

Psalm 36:5-7

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

-All nature pictures taken by Bubbly ;) in Nassau, Bahamas. Pictures of orphanage kids with me taken by youth group friends or other orphanage kids.

Nassau Mission Trip

Facebook status today:

PRAY for my mission trip to Nassau, Bahamas! Well, God's mission trip- I'm just His humble servant. :) I will be working at an orphanage. I'm praying that God will equip me with every good work, so that I can fully carry out His will - giving all the glory to God, serving Him and others, loving everyone with compassion, and finally spreading the gospel of peace, that brings indescribable joy and comfort.

The words "equip for every good work" kept popping in my mind the past week. I finally decided to look up the reference and found this:

2 Timothy 3:16-17

"All Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

I don't know exactly what I'll be doing down there, but now I can be confident that God's plan will work out, and I am equipped for every good work, because I feed daily on God's Word. :)

Details on adventure of a lifetime mission trip to follow.... ;)

-Nassau, Bahamas picture from Google.

YELLOW! Part TWO of "Hear my prayer"

I just updated my blog's template! It's YELLOW!!! :) I am obsessed with that color. ;) Anyway... I promised I would provide a solution to the "to be continued..." on the previous post "Hear my prayer." I probably shouldn't have said that... because I kind of forget. But, I will be brief and explain what God taught me. He never ceases to discipline His children!

The following is a repeat of what I had just mentioned:

"Friday I was the modern-teenage-girl Job. I was officially SICK. God told me to take a step back from my busy life (again... see "Tragedy of the Busy Life" and "Voiceless") and TRUST HIM. I wanted to hold on... thinking I had it under control. I told myself I was doing the "Christian" thing by praying and "trusting" God. But was I really? Only when you've completely surrendered can you actually fully, without holding back, trust God with all your heart, mind, and soul. I may have felt like Job, but God worked His peace and miracles like He always does. ;) I just had no idea what I was getting myself into... (to be continued...) "

It's funny how God uses irony as humor... This was my facebook status on May 27th:

The true test of faith is to keep trusting God even when your life is on the edge of collapsing into obliteration. Bring it on God, cause' you're looking at the modern-day Job. Nothing can tear apart this relationship!

Notice how I said, "Bring it on God." NEVER say this unless you are fully prepared to get it. God keeps His promises and answers prayers. Yep. Next thing you know...

I had MONO. For those of you who don't know my long history of "diseases" this was just another one to check off the list! :P I have now experienced bronchitis, pneumonia, losing my voice completely, mono, strep, the chicken pox, the flu, and probably a couple dozen more "common colds" that seem to always find me. WHY do I have these problems? Because I don't listen to God. :( I'm too busy living my life the way I want to and think others expect of me. Like the acronym my friend shared with me, BUSY is just another word for BEING UNDER SATAN'S YOKE!

Being Under Satan's Yoke

This is SO true! How are we supposed to be followers of Christ and expect God's peace to come into our lives when we tell Him, "Sorry, I'm too busy to listen to you!" It's basically a slap in the face to God. You're telling Him that your schedule is more important than prayer time and Bible time or church. Lately, I've learned a lot about prayer! It seems like a pointless waste of time, right? Why talk to God when He already knows your problems and what to say? Well, a poem I read in the book by Elizabeth George "A Young Woman's Call to Prayer" explained everything crystal clear (and that book! It helped immensely - I highly recommend it!).

"The Difference Prayer Makes"

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish
That I didn't take time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,
And heavier came each task;
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.
He answered: "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty -
But the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me,
He said, "But you didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence,
I used all my keys at the lock;
God gently and lovingly chided:
"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning
And paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
That I had to take time to pray.

(author unknown)

God knew exactly what He was doing when He got me sick with Mono. This lasted for about a whole week (and I'm still tired from it!). I slept 20 hours daily for 3 days in a row. I was so sick of sleeping that I specifically wanted to go on strike. This was my facebook status:

Mono... :P I never thought there would be a day when I said, "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SLEEPING!!!" I seriously just want to boycott my body's need for sleep. When can I actually do my homework?!?

I seriously wanted to do homework I was so sick of sleeping! Anyway, God used this opportunity to get me to RELAX (sort of... at least for a few days) and read the book my friend let me borrow on prayer (by Elizabeth George). I am soooooo glad I did!


Here are some excerpts from my prayer journal on May 30th, when I was at home and sick with Mono (Not to mention I was missing so many fun graduation parties!! :( I figure it's part of God's punishment.... but at the end of the day, I was GLAD He did!)

Just because I'm sick with Mono doesn't mean I have to neglect my prayer life. I'm sorry. Now I see why I'm sick! Lord, you've just been waiting for me to breathe and relax so I can pray and read and include you as a part of my EVERYDAY - whether I'm sick or not... I don't even deserve to talk to you... I'm just frustrated - physically, emotionally, and spiritually... Lord I'm just a mess! Give me wisdom so I can do better at this challenging game called life. You tell me not to worry over 300 times in your Word, yet I end up worrying about worry. Talk about the knot this child has gotten herself into. Lord, school is almost over, yet I've procrastinated to the extent of having 15-20 hours of homework, which I can't even do because I'm sick. HELP! I need you. Isn't the first step realizing you need help? Well I need all the help you can give me Lord! Let me come to you in everything with prayer and petition, so that you can guard my heart and mind in you Jesus - bring me peace that transcends all understanding. Give my family the love they've been so desperately searching for. Heal my sickly body. Eliminate my stress. And let your will be done. I love you Lord. Even when I'm sick I will praise your name! Because I know I would be nothing without you. You are mighty and holy Father. Thank-you.
~Love, Bubbly <3

As you can see, God was definitely working in my heart that day, and the following days! I didn't have enough energy to do homework (not to mention my mind was still a little "out of it"...) and God gave me the desire to read. What else could I do? Again, I was trying to "boycott" sleeping! :P And guess what comes next? God worked it all out, for His glory and for my comfort, according to His plan. First, He needed to teach me another lesson. I might regret saying this, but it's late and I need to pack for my Nassau, Bahamas mission trip on Saturday. Goodnight! :) To be continued...

-YELLOW flower picture found on Google. Second yellow flower picture also from Google.