Voiceless

You can never fully appreciate anything until you have experienced life without it. This is especially true of speech, which is defined as "the faculty or power of speaking; oral communication; ability to express one's thoughts and emotions by speech sounds and gesture: Losing her speech made her feel isolated from humanity." This is how I felt today. I felt isolated from my friends at a desperate attempt to be included in conversation. I love how the definition includes the "power" of speaking or the ability to "express" one's thoughts and emotions. I lived a day lacking this power of expression, which is so vital to every human.

This morning I woke up without a voice. As odd as it sounds, it is a sad truth. Ask me why I am suffering this fate, I don't have a clear answer. I do have a rather complicated explanation which beings about a week ago...

I was terribly sick last week starting Tuesday (see "The Tragedy of the Busy Life"). It was the typical cold consisting of congestion and a sore throat. Either it was a miscalculation or a foolish mistake on my part, but two days home from school was not enough. Unfortunately I could not bring myself to miss any more tests, quizzes, lectures, or homework. It would only result in a lower grade and GPA. Immediately after I arrived home on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday I collapsed in my bed and took a long, well-rested nap (to my content). Notice how I did not take a nap on Saturday, hence part of my dilemma. Wisely skipping my church "Luau" event and my school's Homecoming football game (going to bed early Friday night), I went to work on Saturday from ten in the morning until four in the afternoon. Consequently, I rushed to a hair appointment fifteen minutes later and then prepared for the crucial occasion for high school students known as the Homecoming dance.

This was my first year going to the dance and I was excited yet hesitant, not knowing exactly what to expect. Either way, my dress was perfect in all its beauty, my hair was simply divine, and my date was waiting to escort me, dressed in a handsome dress shirt and tie. I felt like a princess (and looked like one too!). Could it have been any better? (a few more slow dances would have been nice, but otherwise, no!) I was disappointed when it was over because I didn't want it to end! After a night of pure fun, I was certainly exhausted and my throat was mildly sore (probably from yelling above the loud music) but in my opinion, it was completely worth it.

My view point changed when I woke up Sunday morning with a fluctuating, high-pitched, squeaky voice that resembled a dying frog when I attempted to sing. Why did I try to sing? I was supposed to lead the children's worship at my church! I was saved by my hero friend who did the singing portion while I mouthed the words and danced to the choreography. Unaware of my growing problem, I continued to talk despite my weakening voice. It seemed to me impossible to continue with life without talking at all, especially since I am a girl with many words (I talk a lot!). Instead, I should have used my words sparingly and try to not talk unless necessary. This was a colossal mistake on my part. The unexpected outcome: I woke up this morning without a voice. Ironically, yesterday I had joked about what would happen if I couldn't speak at all when I woke up. Little did I know, it came true!

Debating whether I should go to school, I decided that I would take on the challenge. It energized me to consider going an entire school day without talking. Perhaps I am the only one who would think in this way, but it was entertaining to try and convey my words through other forms (mouthing the words, hand signals, or writing). It was the worst in Spanish class, which consists of merely talking. I am still fearful of my grade decreasing because of no participation points. My lack of words did not only affect classes, but mainly the social aspect of high school. Socializing with friends is the only thing that keeps me going throughout the day. A bad test or a plethora of homework can always become better when my friend smiles at me or talks of how they are experiencing similar trials. That is why God gave us people in our lives. It would be a lonely life indeed if we could not communicate with each other.

Today my friends were supportive of my "handicap," but they could not stop laughing and making fun of me (in a friendly way of course). This is only because it was "me" we are talking about. Bubbly is my pseudonym because it fits my personality perfectly. I am enthusiastic, talkative, and bubbly. Usually I talk so fast that people are lucky to decipher one word in my paragraph long rant. When something excites me, I will do anything but sit down and be "quiet." I jump up and down, simply unable to contain my happiness. If you keep this into account when you imagine me not being able to talk, you will probably laugh as well. I felt like a completely different person, incapable of expressing myself. It reminded me of Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" when she lost her voice to have legs and win her prince charming Eric. I can absolutely relate to her now.

As tragic as this whole fiasco sounds, I know there is always an optimistic outlook on any situation. This "voiceless" day has taught me a valuable lesson and has been a learning experience. I know it is a part of my natural personality, but my habit of talking too much is not always good. Words are very powerful as the definition of speech suggests. Useless, unnecessary chatter does nothing. It is better than hurtful words or gossip, but why not use encouraging words to cheer others up instead? Think of how much happier life would be. Or what about following 1 Corinthians 10:31 and giving all the glory to God? I feel guilty when I am confronted with this because I know I constantly stumble in this. Only with God's help can I learn to "tame my tongue" and use the power of words for His glory.

James 3:9-10 "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."


Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death..."


Proverbs 25:11 "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."


Proverbs 12:18 "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

~Thank you Father for giving me the power to express myself through words. Help me to use them for your glory and to encourage others. I am voiceless today, but I can still write. :)


-Scrabble "VOICE" pictures found on Google