Masquerade

Halloween. A day filled with candy corn and cat costumes as the full moon glistens and the wind whistles. When I was eight, I was ecstatic at the mention of the word, but now the excitement has faded like an old curtain in the sun. What did I do to celebrate? I worked. All day from two in the afternoon until now (about 8). I couldn't help having at least an ounce of sadness-it's depressing you know! I used to absolutely delight in dressing up for Halloween and always wanted to be a pretty, little princess. Last night I put on a princess costume my mom randomly found in our attic. I felt so beautiful in it and simply had to wear it to the party my family was going to. It was nowhere in my plans. I was just going to stay at home alone cleaning my room and doing homework. That was my idea for a good Friday night (I just accepted the fact that I have no life). Unfortunately, my brilliant plan was spoiled and my brother convinced me to go. Well, him and the dress. Once my eye caught on the gorgeous gown, I was in love. I had to wear it to the party. Like a princess going to a ball, I floated out of the house on a cloud, twirling my red and gold dress as if I were truly royalty. You would think I was eight again!

All I needed was a masquerade mask and it was the perfect masquerade costume. I always loved the idea of disguising oneself and looking mysterious. Like in the movies where the mystery girl is discovered by her prince charming as he unveils her identity and then sweetly kisses her. Okay, maybe that's not what comes to your mind, but I'm a sucker for romances. I do believe there are masquerades happening every day though. Maybe they don't openly wear masks, but some people don't act like themselves and put on a masquerade. Perhaps it's because they are insecure or want to impress their friends. Whatever the reason, I am always sad when I see people like that. Masquerade (according to dictionary.com) can be defined as a "false outward show." I think this describes exactly many of the people I am talking about. They put on a show for their peers or friends to gain popularity. It's like people aren't happy with how God made them! Everyone has a distinct personality and their own gifts that makes them who they are. There is not one snowflake alike and there is certainly not one human being alike. If you put on a facade to disguise who you truly are, you are defeating the purpose of life. If you want to be like everyone else, who is going to be you? I think what makes life fun in people and the variety they bring. Sure, no one's perfect and people will let you down, but you've got to love the joy your family brings when you when they comment on how talkative you are or how you've got beautiful eyes. Why put on a masquerade when you can just be yourself?

1 Thessalonians 2:4-6

"On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else."

I love this verse because it says we don't live to please men, but God. People who put on fake masquerades or "masks to cover up greed" are living to please men. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds when compared to God? Men are imperfect! It is impossible to please all of us. We are so finicky by nature and don't even know what we want, let alone what we want of other people. And let me tell you, it's exhausting trying to please men all of the time! I find myself flat on my face every time I attempt to do everything according to man's standard. Luckily, I don't have to. I would much rather please God and live life for Him, according to His grace and love.

2 Corinthians 11:14

"And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light."

This verse scares me more than comforts me. When looking up masquerade in a Bible concordance, I came across Satan. Yep, the once great angel who fell because of his pride and because he thought he was better than God. He may not be red with devil horns and a pitch fork, but he is certainly real. In fact, you might not even notice him because he masquerades himself as an angel of light. An angel of light! Satan is the ultimate masquerader and disguises as something good, not bad. In all of his master lies, he always hides them up with some truth. Oh, well "you surely won't die" he sneakily hints to Adam and Eve as they eat from the forbidden tree and became the first humans that sinned. Just be careful the next time you think of masquerading yourself under peer pressure or insecurity. You don't need a mask to cover up your great personality or beautiful features. The prince of peace (Jesus) will take that mask off of you and show your beauty to everyone. He created you in His image and loves you just like that. Stop hiding behind a masquerade.

-Full moon picture and masquerade mask both found on Google.

Sleeping the week away

Another day has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I mean this statement both figuratively and literally! The past three days all I have done is sleep. I wasn't trying to pull off a record for the most sleep (though I would say 21 hours each day is a record!), I was simply trying to get better. Something, whether it be swine flu or not, has been going around my school and I managed to catch it. Isn't it funny how I just recently recovered from being sick a month ago and now I am sick again? This year has been especially bad for me in terms of getting sick. I have gotten bronchitis, pneumonia, the common cold, lost my voice, and swine flu! If I asked the question, "could it get any worse?" I know the answer would be yes. Let's pray that I hold out for at least the end of the year (it's almost November, right?).

It's been strange getting so much sleep lately. It's as if the week literally has just disappeared in the blink of an eye. On Monday, I came home and fell asleep at 4, only to wake up to go to the bathroom and eat. The next day I slept until 1 in the afternoon and then went back to bed at 3. You would think over 20 hours of sleep would be plenty but that didn't stop me from sleeping the entire Wednesday away. I thought I would be unable to sleep last night, but I was wrong again. This morning is when my body decided it had slept enough and woke up promptly at 5:30 am. I tossed and turned in my bed, knowing that I couldn't go to school for fear I would get worse. I still took a few naps during the day, but woke up at around 9 to take a shower and eat. It's so weird sleeping for two whole days in a row and then suddenly staying awake for the next day.

Sleeping so much has accomplished one thing (other than making me feel better): I have thoroughly thought myself to death. This is because, in between drifting to and from sleep, I have had no other choice than to think. Maybe this doesn't happen to you, but before I fall asleep, I think about things. I think about what happened during the day and the plans for the week and how I am going to possibly manage finishing my homework. I guess it's more like worrying than thinking. Nevertheless, in between being miserably sick, I worried. How sad is that? On top of being so sick I could barely walk and had to sleep an insane amount of 21 hours each day, I worried about how I was going to get my homework done. I over-analyzed events that took place weeks ago and was frustrated at my family's lack of sympathy. I felt sorry for myself that I was missing out on my social life and was instead stuck at home, alone, and forgotten. Tuesday night I even cried (the first time in a while) about all the stress and worries in my life and just couldn't handle it anymore. I think the 101 temperature fever probably put my emotions over the top and tears couldn't contain themselves.

Does it really help to cry? Does worrying ever do any good? Isn't it normal to get sick and miss a few days of school? Considering this later, it doesn't seem like that big of deal. As usual, crying, getting upset, and worrying about trivial matters in life such as homework and stress never does the body any good. It is not the end of the world if I miss a few days of school. At the time, I felt like I could not bare to miss even a minute of my classes, but in reality life goes on. No matter how hard I try to plan out my life, God is going to throw away that planner right before my eyes and remind me that it's all about His plan, not mine. I got sick and I missed three days of school. That certainly wasn't in my plan, but I survived. I'm much better now and ready to take on life where I left off. It's most definitely going to be hard to catch up with schoolwork, but God will help me through it. I'll just take it one step at a time. It's time to wake up from my sleep.

Sometimes I just feel like sleeping my life away. I'm too scared to face it head on and would rather just sleep in. It reminds me of a song by Nevertheless called "Sleeping In." Here are some of the lyrics:

"I've been sleeping in for days,
'Cause when I am awake,
I will have to face my life.
...........................................
I need you here with me to face the world outside
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in."

I really do like to sleep (sometimes too much) but sleeping your life away is not a good idea. It prevents you from enjoying life to its fullest. I have not accomplished anything for the past 3 days except sleep and getting better. No one wants to live an life of idleness. Eventually, no matter how long your nap is, it will come to an end. You will have to wake up and face life. I'm not exactly enthusiastic to return to my school routine tomorrow morning, but I would rather accomplish something other than sleep. It's time for me to wake up!

Psalm 3:5 "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me."

~God, help me to get through the rest of the week and catch up on my homework. Help me to wake up and not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). I can only do this with your help Father!

-Flower picture taken by Bubbly

All-State

Yesterday was the All-State competition where orchestra, band, and choir instruments auditioned to be the "best" in the state. This is a huge accomplishment if one makes it. However, it is also a challenging one. It seemed like the violinists were the most competitive. As I practiced my scales and excerpts, I felt inferior to the musical geniuses surrounding me. They has the speed, the rhythm, the intonation, and the tone-everything that I lacked. I began to question why I was there in the first place. Was it even worth a shot to audition if, deep down, I knew I had no chance? My dad, being the eternal optimist told me if I thought that way I would surely not make it. So I attempted to develop a positive attitude (see "An Optimistic Outlook" blog post...). My plan was to go into the audition for the glory of God. It was God that gave me my violin skills and I was simply giving my all to Him. This certainly made me less nervous and prepared to try my absolute best!

I would like to say that everything ended perfectly and happily, but that is only partially true. First of all, would me getting in secure happiness anyway? Isn't everything only temporary (see "Bubbles" blog post)? So whether I got in or not (whatever the circumstance), I would still be joyful and praise God for giving me the talent! I love playing the violin and practicing for this audition made me a much better musician. Praise the Lord for that! I am so glad that God gives us the joy to be happy no matter what the outcome is. With this being said, I did not make All-State (as you probably guessed). I wasn't even close (I thought) and didn't get recalled. In fact, I completely bombed my D scale (the easiest) because I had been practicing the harder scales. This was disappointing. However, I am so glad I tried. It was a fantastic experience and taught me life-long lessons. I will practice even harder for next year, and who knows? I might even make it! All it takes is a little determination combined with some optimism.

No one's perfect. You've probably figured this out whether you've lived five years or fifty. Life isn't fair either. No matter what, people will let you down and you will make mistakes. However, how we handle those situations is what determines if we will learn from it. Perhaps you've heard it from your mother or grandmother, but we learn from our mistakes. Every failure we acquire in life is just one step closer from getting it right the next time. God will help us through whatever trial we are facing and it will all work out together for the good.

Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This is one of the most encouraging verses! Think about it. No matter what happens in life, it will work together for the good. This is hard to believe and I don't blame you if you're skeptical, but it is the absolute truth. It may seem like the end of the world or like a dead end with no escape, but God will find a way to make it work out. It's all part of the plan! We have been called for a purpose. God doesn't say in the fine print, "and if it gets too hard, you can quit." No! Instead, He says that he works for the good of those who love Him and will find a way to make everything work out. How wonderful to think that God is always there looking out for us. No matter what happens.

I failed my All-State audition. I didn't make it and wasn't even close. Life is not over. It's not the end of the world and I learned from that experience. It worked out for the good. I was joyful despite the circumstance and I will praise God for giving me the talent I have! I may not be the best in the state (or my school), but I am content with that. God loves me anyway. I will thank Him for His grace every day!

-Sheet music picture found on Google.

More than memorizing

Deuteronomy 11:18 "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads."

To me, this verse is God asking us to remember Him. We are, by human nature forgetful. When God says to "fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds," He means to not only read His word, the Bible, but also to "fix" it on our hearts and minds. When we fix it on our heart, we understand the importance of it and try to apply it to our lives, and when we fix it on our mind, we memorize it. This is why it is so crucial to memorize God's word, not merely read it. People have always asked me, "what's the point of memorizing Bible verses?" It's as simple as this: because then we can easily remember what God is saying to us. Every day, I get up to read the Bible. What good does it do if I don't remember what I read? How then am I supposed to apply it to my life? It's amazing what happens when you memorize God's word.

Tuesday, I woke up with a verse in my head. I didn't put it there, God did. After writing the encouraging post on Monday about being optimistic, I decided to put it to work. I asked God to give me opportunities to proclaim His name and always be joyful, thanking Him in all circumstances. I made it a goal not to complain. "Hallelujah!" I thought, because God answered my prayer the second I jumped out of bed. Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." It's a common verse, yes. Many are familiar with it and as I went about my day with enthusiasm, I shared the verse with everyone I met. Despite the fact that everyone said, "yeah, well I've heard that before," I couldn't help wonder if they actually knew what it signified. Did they truly know what it meant to "rejoice" in the Lord because He had created a new day? Did they actually appreciate the day God had made? If only they had. At least I got some comfort knowing that I was giving glory to God, despite the difference it made to the individuals I shared it to. I was praising Him and rejoicing in the brand new Tuesday He had made for me to enjoy.

Even with memorizing God's word and fixing it on my heart and mind, I am still forgetful. How can this be? Notice how the ending of the verse Deuteronomy 11:18) goes: "tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Unfortunately, verses don't randomly pop in my head every morning. However, if I set apart reminders throughout my day, I can focus on God without forgeting His amazing love. The Israelites struggled with remembering what God had done for them, so He told them to wear symbols and have daily reminders. I know for me, it helps to write the Bible verses down and put them in my backpack, planner, pocket, or even on my bathroom mirror in the form of sticky notes. Whatever it takes to remember God, I'll do it. It certainly helps to pray to God as well. To ask Him for the ability to memorize Bible verses and to apply them to your life. Look how He answered my prayer! I started my day off right with the perfect verse.

After pondering on these thoughts, I decided I would try a new idea. How about having a daily Bible verse to think on each day and to commit to memory. Think about it. How much time do you spend daily on homework, memorizing that Spanish vocabulary or those calculus equations? School is important, but God's word is far more fulfilling and greater. I would rather spend my time memorzing scripture. If God gave us the ability to memorize and the sharp mind of a youth, than why not use those talents and gifts to further His kingdom? People wonder how I can memorize so many verses, but if you can memorize Latin roots for biology, why not God's word? It's no different. The only thing that keeps people from doing it is priorities. My top priority on Earth is to live for Jesus. It only makes sense to fix my heart and mind on His word.

-Open Bible picture found on Google.

An Optimistic Outlook

When was the last time you complained? Was it a month ago or closer to a few minutes ago? Most likely, at least for me, it can be measured in minutes versus days. This saddens me. Are we truly using the power of our speech to say discouraging, complaints that don't accomplish anything? The Bible says to not let "unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs" (Ephesians 4:29). Complaining does not accomplish this. In fact, Philippians 2:14 directly commands "do everything without complaining or arguing." What does the word "everything" mean to you? Does it translate to "sometimes," "once in a while," or "usually"? No! God declares us to never complain and do everything without it. This is a high standard and seems demanding. After all, we're only human, right? This is true statement and everyone is sinful, but with God's help, anything is possible! Philippians 4:13 says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Did you catch that word again? Everything. We can do everything through him who gives us strength.

I know that God is a merciful God, who loves us enough to forgive us no matter how many times we fail. When He made the ten commandments, He didn't expect us to keep them! After all, we all fall short of the glory of God. In the same respect, God doesn't expect us to be perfect. That's what's so wonderful about Him. We will (undoubtedly) fall sometimes. But God picks us up every time and assures us that we are perfect in His eyes (because of Jesus). Philippians 2:14 is saying that if we don't complain or argue, we will stand out from the rest of the crowd and people will wonder what makes us different. The passage goes further in verse 15, saying "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." This is one of my favorite verses! It is exactly what I want to aim for in life: to be blameless and pure, a child of God... so that I might shine like a stars in the universe! People will wonder what I have that they don't, which is the joy of Jesus Christ and the perfect peace He brings.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

This verse jumped out at me in an FCA e-mail devotional I read today. It's a good verse to memorize, and helpful in every situation. This is the solution to trying not to complain. Be joyful always. It's as simple as that! I know God brings me so much joy that sometimes I simply cannot contain myself. His everlasting love is greater than anything the world can offer. Praying continually is more of a challenge for me, because I am a forgetful person. However, it is truly one of the most important things we can do in our day (besides reading the Bible). Praying can be explained in three easy words: "talking to God." How can you go through your day claiming to live for Jesus if you don't talk with Him? Isn't it funny how the only times we remember to pray are when we are going through something bad? Not really. Every time we knock on God's door or ring his cell phone, He probably thinks, "oh boy, what is she going to tell me about her day now?" But really, we're just calling Him to tell of all the negative things in our lives and to ask for help. This isn't wrong, it's just lacking a crucial element of prayer. Thanksgiving. Not the thanksgiving in November, complete with sweet potatoes and a roasted turkey. I'm talking about giving thanks to God. He deserves every ounce of thanksgiving in our body, this is God here! The almighty, powerful God who can part the red sea and save our souls. If we don't give Him the praise He deserves, who will?

We have so much to thank God for. Why not use our words to declare His majesty and thank Him for His amazing grace and breathtaking creation. Today was gorgeous outside. While I was strolling along the sidewalk outside of school, the sun was shining through, illuminating the orange and red leaves graced on every tree. Some leaves were strewn about in the still green grass and it was perfect. I can just imagine God looking down at His work and waiting for us to compliment Him on another beautiful day. Better yet, I know Jesus was right there walking next to me, appreciating the beauty with me. This is an obvious place to thank God. However, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says to give thanks in all circumstances. There's a word similar to "everything." God doesn't mean to merely thank Him on the days when things are going well and the sun is shining. He wants us to continue to thanks Him, even on the bad, rainy days. I think every day we should thank Him for one thing: Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. It may sound cliche, but it's one detail we often forget. Again, I am a very forgetful person and don't always take time to realize the magnitude of this event. Without Jesus, my life would be empty, a sand castle washed away in the sand. I would have no purpose and be buried in a sinful life full of despair. Thank you Jesus for giving me life, and to the full! For Romans 6:11 declares I am "dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus"!

Now reflect back to that complaining issue. Does anything you complain about seem bigger than the joy that Christ brings us? If you concentrate on positive things, like God's great love for us, then life doesn't seem so bad. It's certainly not worth complaining about. We need to always be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Like everything, it's easier said than done, but if we focus on God, the rest of the puzzle pieces will fall into place. Live life with an optimistic outlook!

-Flower picture (of God's magnificent beauty) taken by Bubbly :)

Good News

Matthew 28:19-20 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

The Great Commission: the last words Jesus commanded when he ascended into heaven, to be with God until His future return (Revelation). He told us to "GO!" and make disciples, teaching them everything He commanded us. To go and preach the good news, the good news of Jesus Christ-His love and eternal salvation. This is what He wants us to do, and it is our (Christians) purpose in life. I am not suggesting to go door to door and share with every stranger in your path, "Hey, did you hear about the good news? Jesus loves you and he wants you to trust in Him because He died for your sins." This is one approach, but isn't the most effective. I believe we need to share the good news with our family, friends, and people we've already built relationships with. I'll admit that people are more likely to listen to a good friends versus a complete stranger on the street.

The sermon this morning was on witnessing, and last night was Fields of Faith (an FCA-Fellowship of Christian Athletes event), which is a night of student testimonies and speakers sharing the Gospel. Every time I hear a testimony or someone preach about the Gospel, I simply burn with more and more passion for Jesus, whom I trust in with all my heart. He can truly turn people's lives around for the better and performs miracles beyond belief. Look at us! We are His perfect creation and a miracle in itself. I also enjoy listening to testimonies because it makes me feel like I am not the only one. I am not the only Christian in this world, though sometimes I fall into that lie. Satan wants me to think I am all alone, but I know that is not the truth. Jesus is the truth and He says otherwise. He gives me the strength to continue, even if I am the only one.

One of the adult youth pastors that spoke, talked about the story in 2 Kings chapters 6-7. I remember reading this in my daily Bible reading a few weeks ago, though I never thought about in the way he mentioned it. In the story, there was a dreadful famine in Samaria. People were literally eating their own babies they were so ravenous (pretty gross, huh?). A donkey's head was 80 shekels (2 pounds) of silver and a cab of seed pods (otherwise known as "doves' dung" or poop, also disgusting) was worth 5 shekels (2 ounces) of silver. In the midst of this dreadful time, four men with leprosy were at sitting at the city gate, pondering what to do. They figured if they went in the city, they would die of starvation, and if they went to the camp of the Arameans and surrendered, they would survive. When they arrived at the camp, it was completely deserted (because God had sent a noise like an army marching which caused the entire city to flee). Inside the tents were plenty of food and water to drink, which was like finding a treasure chest of gold. The lepers began to feel guilty and reported it to the royal palace. The king and all of Samaria got to share in the "good news" and were saved from starvation and death.

Perhaps you know where the youth pastor was going with this. It's a perfect analogy for the real "good news" of Jesus Christ and how we are commissioned to share it will everyone. Don't you see? They (non-believers) are the ones who are missing out. They are the ones who are starving and have no hope of salvation. We are the lepers-the disciples of God, called to share the good news with everyone, so that they may share in the joy and life that Jesus brings. This analogy spoke perfectly to me, and I realized that I needed to be more active in sharing my faith (starting with this blog!). I have witnessed to multiple friends, but they simply didn't understand. I truly do want everyone to share in this joy, this life that Jesus brings. In John 10:10 Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Being a Christian and committing your life to following and trusting in Him, is not following a list of rules and being a "party pooper." It brings life! And life to the full! I am not missing out on the "fun" of the world with its drinking, drugs, sex, and lack of morals. They (the world) is missing out on the joy of the Lord! The creator of the universe who brings us life (and to the full!).

The word "good" cannot describe how phenomenal the news of Jesus Christ is. It's better than any good news we have ever heard. The salvation Jesus brings through God's grace and mercy is something we don't deserve, but have access to despite our sinful nature. I want to be like the four lepers in the story, who shared the good news with everyone so that they wouldn't miss out. I want to share the miraculous good news of Jesus with the world! <><

-Waterfall picture taken by Bubbly :)

David-a role model for humility

Have you ever heard the story of David? Not the David sitting in your calculus class or your next-door neighbor David, I'm talking about King David-the King over all of Israel, one of the greatest in history. Not only was he victorious in every battle, lived in a huge palace, and had access to anything he wanted with the snap of a finger, but he was also humble.

Humility can be defined as not thinking too highly of yourself as you ought to (according to my wonderful mother). It is the opposite of pride and arrogance. Being humble is an act of selflessness and modesty. God wants us to humble ourselves before Him because He alone is holy and perfect. We don't deserve Him, but He deserves our praise and we should give the glory to God! King David the the perfect role model for humility. Even after defeating all of the greatest armies in the world at the time, instead of gaining pride and thinking He was a great King, He gave it all to God. In 1 Chronicles 17:16 he says, "Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" This a true act of humility. David wrote most of the Psalms, which simply give God praise and credit for making David who he was. Let's face it: without God we would be nothing. He alone created us and gives us the talents in the first place. This is why we must humble ourselves before Him and practice humility. Matthew 23:12 (also in Luke 14:11) says, "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." If you are are prideful and arrogant, God will humble you. However, if you are humble, God will exalt you! Isn't this amazing? So practicing genuine humility pays off. It's much harder than it seems, though.

When was the last time you said the word "I"? Probably within the last few minutes of your latest conversation. We constantly focus on ourselves and put ourselves up by bragging or boasting about our various accomplishments. It's a challenge not to talk about ourselves. Now imagine spending an entire conversation talking about other people or better yet, God and how He has brought about accomplishments in your life. So many times we miss the main goal. The purpose is to glorify God and not ourselves. Humility is exalting God up for the successes in our life. King David may seem infallible in the Bible, but he had his mistakes too, he was just humble in behavior.

Whether it's in the way we dress (modestly) or the way we talk, humility is a vital virtue in life. Instead of comparing yourself to the world and its standards, compare yourself to God. King David did this and instead of saying "look how great I am" he said "who am I?" that God has brought me here? It's time to evaluate your life and see if you would think the same way. Do you compare yourself to God, or the world? When we take God's power and holiness in consideration, we realize how little we are compared to Him. He is perfect, and we fall short of that standard. Luckily, Jesus fixed that gap and allowed us to have a relationship with Him. But that doesn't stop us from being humble. We still must practice humility and focus on God's glory. Because we would be nothing without Him. <><

-Humility image from Google

Fear

Psalm 27:1

"The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?"

This morning, in my daily Bible reading, I came across this verse. I am certainly familiar with it, as I have heard it many times throughout Sunday School and church as a child. However, the significance of the verse has changed over the years. When I was younger, I used it to overcome my fear of the dark (every child has this fear, right?). During tornado sirens, I was paranoid of my house getting blown away, though there were slim chances of this occurring. I even used to be afraid of dogs (as strange as it sounds) because I took observation of those minority "mean dogs" which terrorized me by their bark alone. My dreams were always wild and imaginative, but scary nonetheless. Whether it was a fictional "monster" chasing me throughout my house, or a pack of wolves ready to pounce at any second and devour me, I always woke up scared to walk in my own house! I usually raced to my parent's bedroom, sharing my nightmares and persuading them to let me sleep in their bed.

In one particular dream, dinosaurs were conquering the world and my entire family (grandparents included) were gobbled up by the "colorful" beasts. They tore down the roof of my house and were coming for me at last. In a desperate attempt to save my life, I shut the closet door and closed my eyes. Slowly, slowly, I drifted away from my dream to wake up in my comforting bedroom, free from the dominating dinosaurs. Oddly enough, I can see the picture clear in my mind, of all of my childhood nightmares and dreams. Years later, I discovered why I had the dinosaur dream. My brother had this comforter in his bedroom with an array of multicolored dinosaurs scattered throughout. These were the same dinosaurs in my dream and they had simply "come to life." It is funny how the mind works.

Another night, I dreamed there were sharks in my swimming pool! I used to be on the swim team and was one of the fastest swimmers there, however, my speed was not fast enough for the hungry swarm of sharks which attempted to eat me alive. For months, I was afraid to swim in the pool for fear of sharks. What a silly fear, now that I am older. My parents tried to encourage me, claiming sharks cannot survive in the chlorinated pool anyway. As stubborn as I was, I did not believe them. If they were in my dream, they must be able to overcome that obstacle.

As you can see, I had the most ridiculous fears as a child, which seem nearly impossible to be scared of, now older and more mature. What are the fears of a teenager, or perhaps the average adult? My mother told me she heard on television that the number one fear in America is public speaking, the second, believe it or not, is death! This seems absolutely ridiculous to me, since I love to give speeches and am not scared of death in the least bit. What am I scared of? Possibly the fear of not standing up for my faith enough or not witnessing to my friends. The thing that scares me the most is seeing a family member without Christ-lost, confused, and doomed to eternity separated from God. These are the grand scale fears, but I am not unlike most teenagers in other fears.

Have you ever lost a friend? Have you ever struggled with having no friends? From toddlers to the elderly, I think everyone has experienced this tragedy at least once. In sixth grade, I had one friend. After trying to share my faith with her, I was zero for zero. Friendless, and lonely. Sure, I still have my best friend, Jesus, but people still need to be with other people. We need each other. It's our human instinct to love others, like God loves us. Eventually, I gained other friends throughout middle school and even more in high school. God is always looking out for me and sent friends in the most unlikely places.

Have you ever been afraid to try something new? I know I am always hesitant to step out of my comfort zone and be outgoing. Despite my bubbly personality, I have a shy side to me. It's hard to be talkative when you don't know anyone. It's like being the new girl at school or moving to a completely new town. Sometimes you just have to be brave. And that courage comes from one person. Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Whatever your fear, God can remove anything holding you back from living life to the fullest. He cares about us more than we can ever conceive. God will give us the courage we need to conquer fear. "Whom shall I fear?"

-Light and Salvation picture found on Google.
-Colorful Dinosaur picture found on Google.

Random Thoughts

So here I am. I am sitting at my computer being lazy (you know, checking e-mails, browsing Facebook, listening to music). I don't feel like doing homework (though this is technically homework, my favorite assignment!). Cleaning doesn't look appealing considering I just got off work. To be honest, I am probably the only one in the world who is not ecstatic that it's Friday (weird, huh?). There are a multitude of reasons, but mainly the monotonous routine of life. I am not "depressed," but simply tired of the same old things. Busy week, then busy weekend. School during the day, then homework for the rest. Going to bed late, then waking up early. Don't you ever get tired of it all?

I guess the solution is to live life at the fullest. To not worry about tomorrow or dwell on the past. When I looked up the word "worry" on BibleGateway.com, there were a total of 15 references, 13 of which were in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), and 6 of which were in Matthew. My favorite (which I should remind myself every day) is Matthew 6:34: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." This verse is wise advice for life, but easier said than done!

Today, I decided to write out my thoughts. After about a month of continuous writing, I have realized that this helps with the chaos of life. It's almost like someone is listening to me explaining my thoughts the very moment I type them out. This is encouraging. I know God is always listening, but there's just something about actually "writing." As shocking as it sounds, I used to hate writing. It was a tedious task which had to be completed in order to receive an A. I didn't realize what writing truly was. It is simply another form of communication. I like to talk (probably too much). If I think of writing in terms of talking, it becomes more of a hobby compared the previously thought "boring" chore. However, the revising and organization of writing is what I dread. My brain is naturally scatter-brained. To stay on one topic for the entirety of a blog post is nearly impossible. I usually end up separating into at least three different topics, which unfortunately cannot be separated in the form of paragraphs.

-Typing picture found on Google

Relationships

What do you think when you hear the word "relationship"? Perhaps a couple holding hands, or a boyfriend/girlfriend. This simple word has been on my mind for months and is probably something I should not worry about, but it seems inevitable. Yesterday, something was discovered that sparked a "buzz" around my school. I was told by two of my friends that I had something to do with this (which shocked me). I immediately raced home and found out for myself. Basically, a friend of mine wrote about me and other girls who had "rejected" him. Reading this depressing story about how his heart is broke almost made me cry (I'm not kidding, I am overly sensitive). Not for the reasons you would assume, however. Yes, I was sad that he had not "found someone" and that he had relationship issues. However, in my opinion, it is not that big of a deal. It's not like everyone has a girlfriend or boyfriend in high school. We are 16 for goodness sake! Unless he's expecting to marry on graduation day, there is no time constraint. Society puts far too much emphasis on this kind of "love." Relationships only complicate things (not that I'm against them). Sure, they're fun and exciting, but they are only temporary. Like everything in life (as I mentioned in my blog post "Bubbles"), nothing lasts. Eventually one will experience a break up or being "dumped." This rejection seems far worse then being rejected for asking to date in the first place (but I wouldn't know).

These were the same opinions I held to when I went to a dance with this friend. I didn't want to go, but I was glad I was brave enough to step out of my comfort zone. I had a great time and it was certainly an experience! About two weeks later he asked me out (by a text message). I didn't really know how to react. I wasn't thinking about relationships (okay, I was, but I wasn't expecting them) and wasn't sure how to handle the situation. To be perfectly honest, I did not think I would ever date until college. I didn't see a reason to have a boyfriend in high school. Since I'm a Christian, I wasn't sure if it was the best thing to do at that age (15). So I explained this to him, in a genuine way. However, a rejection is a rejection and no explanation can prevent that. I felt bad. It hurt me also-to see a good friend sad because I wasn't "ready" for a relationship. Now, things have changed.

I have another friend, who goes to my church. He is extremely sweet, outrageously funny, extraordinarily talented, and most importantly, has the same beliefs as me and is a Christian. See, I don't think it's right to date someone who has different views on religion. God is the number one priority in my life. If a boyfriend doesn't have the same priority, there will undoubtedly be problems in that relationship. A relationship with God comes first. Once that is firmly established, one can consider other relationships. Over a plethora of conversations, through talking, phone calls, and text messages, we got to know each other better (I like to talk... a lot!). I enjoyed spending time with him and things just "clicked." Sometimes, things just happen. You can't prevent the sun from rising each day or the stars from shining so brightly. In the same way, you can't stop two people from liking each other. It simply happens.

Relationships are complicated, and I am still confused on the issue, however, there is one relationship in which there are no misunderstandings, and that is my relationship with my Savior. When commenting on my friend's blog, I wrote the following:

You don't need this kind of love to satisfy you. The love of the world does not bring happiness as society claims. God's love is the only thing anyone needs in life and it gives eternal joy. Jesus loves you. As cliché as it sounds, it is the only truth in life. A relationship with God is what you need. He loves unconditionally. And no matter how many times you get rejected by imperfect people, God will never let you down. 1 John 2:5 says, "But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him."

Despite people rolling their eyes at my attempt to mention "Jesus loves you" or talk about my faith, I see it as my only purpose in life. I'm not living to find that special someone or look for love. I've already found my true love, which is Jesus. I cannot imagine life without Him. I live to please Him because He loves me and loved us even before the world began-before and after the first human sinned. Romans 5:8 says "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." This love is more powerful than any in the world. It is the best relationship you can ever enter, and it is eternal. Compared to a week, a month, a year, perhaps 50 years, this is one relationship that never ends. There is no "till death do us part." Death cannot separate God's love and nothing will.

Romans 8:38-39

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Holding hands photo found on Google

A Vanilla-Flavored Thursday

This morning, I slammed the snooze on my cell phone alarm as it started playing that familiar song it plays every Thursday and Friday. It is funny how attaching a song to a certain day can plant a memory inside your head. Now, every time I hear this song I think, it's "Friday." I used to have a different song for every day of the week. Unfortunately my limited five alarms cannot support seven days a week. So when I decided I needed an alarm for Saturday and Sunday, I combined my Thursday and Friday into one. This practically "tricked" my brain into thinking it was Friday when it really was simply boring, old, vanilla-flavored Thursday. Is there anything special about Thursday besides the fact that it is one day away from Friday? I know in my previous post, I decided I would try to not look forward to what is ahead, or the weekend. After a week of hectic, chaotic, stressful school and work and all of the activities of life, I changed my mind. It is practically impossible not to look ahead! My solution is to... do nothing. For once, I do not have an answer to everything. I know it is purely inevitable that I will look forward to something in my life. This could perhaps be every day. As long as that does not distract me from focusing on today, it is perfectly fine. I will continue to pray for God to give me the ability to live each day for Him and try my best to not look ahead too often.

After I gathered up the strength to start my day, I jumped out of bed, ready to begin the Thursday, as unexciting as I anticipated it to be. After a relaxing, hot shower, I went through my closet, deciding what to wear. As many clothes as I have, this should not be a difficult task, however, I sometimes spend ten minutes to merely pick out an outfit. It is a long process indeed. First, I must take the weather into consideration. Is it cold or warm? Sunny or rainy? Thank goodness I receive handy weather forecast text messages on my cell phone from the Gazette. Although, I am usually too lazy to check and end up dressing completely opposite from what the weather indicates. Once I decide it is cold out, as it has been the past two weeks, I choose from a plethora of possibilities. Should I wear only long sleeve or dress it up by adding a jacket or a short sleeve shirt. Since today was Thursday, I decided to dress up by combining my treasured black, white, and gray plaid-patterned sweater-vest (I say treasured because I had been searching for one for months only to discover it when I had given up hope). After the top is chosen, I can then find an appropriate pair of jeans. Oddly enough, only two out of the ten jeans I owned last year fit this year. Luckily, I had purchased some new jeans over the summer. I choose the only "dressy" jeans that fit me (hard choice, right?). Finally, I added some practical and comfortable black flats for shoes (to fit the whole "dressy" theme). My long, flared jeans were to the floor when wearing the flats, but I figured it would be fine. That is, if it didn't rain. However, my unluckiness always triumphs and I forgot to check the weather. As I gathered my elephant of a backpack and my large violin, I went into my day with confidence, only to get my jeans all wet.

This may seem random and unimportant, but I simply felt like sharing my day. One fact I left out was something most "normal" teenagers would not include in their daily routine. On this vanilla-flavored Thursday, I sat down in my black swivel chair and opened up my manual for life-the Bible. With its pink and brown leather cover, it is a teenage girl's Bible edition titled "true images." A little over a year ago, I decided to embark on an adventure of a lifetime: reading the Bible. This might seem like a trivial task, but it is something I should have done a long time ago. I am not much of a reader. One thousand, six hundred, and fifty-one pages seemed intimidating. However, this is one book I cannot skim or merely set aside. I plan to finish it front to cover, digesting every bit of encouragement and hope and truth that it can bring. When I complete my task, I will read it again, and again, and again. I will continue until the day I die and go to live with the Author of it all, the "author of life" (Acts 3:15).

I am currently in 1 Chronicles and am also reading the Psalms (one chapter a day). When I flipped open to the page I had bookmarked, I saw Psalm 19. I am familiar with it because of its first two verses which say, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge." These verses are so powerful. They completely spell out creation. When people ask me why I believe in God, I think, "how can you not believe in Him?" Look around at nature. Everything from the giant waterfalls to the tiny but gorgeous flowers. The vastness of stars spewed across the sky and the galaxy are astounding! Does the complexity of our beautiful earth not explain God's work? They "display knowledge"! For all of life's existence, mankind has been searching for knowledge, yet it was in plain sight all along. I am grateful God gave us this gift of knowledge in His creation and a five-lettered word called the Bible.

This may have been a vanilla-flavored Thursday, but I started my day out meditating on God's encouraging Word. With Him, every day is new and a gift from God.

-Vanilla Flavored Ice Cream Cone found on Google

Bubbles

Do you remember when you were a child and enjoyed blowing bubbles? Maybe you still get excited when you discover an old can of bubbles in your garage or get a chance to blow them at a birthday party. Every child is entertained by the simple pleasure of blowing soap out of a bottle to make a bunch of small sticky bubbles that disappear once they touch the ground. Perhaps you used to make a game out of catching each little circle as the wind attempted to carry them away.

If you think about it now, once you are older and too "mature" for useless games as catching bubbles, each bubble is temporary and will never stay for longer than a minute. Once you succeed in catching one, you move onto another until they all disappear. This is true in life as well. Each homework assignment, game of monopoly, orchestra concert, or outing with friends is all temporary. Nothing will ever fully satisfy you. As you keep on searching for that one thing that will make you "happy," you will never find it. It's always, "I can't wait until" or "if I had that, life would be perfect."

No matter how much money, fame, or stuff you acquire in your life, it will all end up like a castle in the sand, washed away and empty. Everyone has a "hole" inside them. Nothing can fill up that hole, that emptiness, except for Jesus Christ and the joy He brings. Deuteronomy 8:3 (also written in Matthew 4:4 and Luke 4:4, this must be important if it is mentioned in the Bible three times!) says "man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." They say that money cannot buy happiness. To take this saying further, nothing (absolutely nothing!) in the entire universe can satisfy you except for the Creator of it all, God, and His word, the Bible. This is hard to keep in mind when the world and our society throws at us all sorts of lies and deceptions that claim the exact opposite.

We always look forward to something. Whether it be the weekend or a vacation to Jamaica, we constantly set our minds on what's ahead that is fun (or at least more fun than what is happening presently). This is a dilemma when you think more into it. If we are always looking forward to something else, then we will never be satisfied! After one weekend is gone, you immediately set your mind to the next. As the weeks past by, you wonder what you have spent your time on. You go to school or work during the week, have fun on the weekends, and that's it. The process repeats itself until you are officially depressed from life's existence. What else is there to live for? I have tried it all (or at least enough to realize the truth). I consistently end up empty after the day is done. Looking forward to things gets tiring. It is like blowing bubbles that disappear or building a sand castle the ocean washes away.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Therefore, I focus not on temporary pleasures that society emphasizes, but on the Lord's eternal joy that fills the emptiness. It is difficult to look past what is seen and "fix our eyes on what is unseen." But through Christ, anything is possible. His encouraging word brings joy that no temporary thing can replace.

So when the world tells me to constantly look forward to temporary things of the world, like the weekend, I know that I can be content in every situation. Whether I be sitting in school Monday morning or doing my homework Thursday night, I know that the weekend ahead will soon be gone just like the previous one. It won't satisfy my needs. I cannot live on bread alone, but on God's word and the eternal rewards that come with it. And I will thank Him everyday for the joy He brings.

-Bubble picture found on Google

Pumpkin Carving

It is the second day of October, and fall is certainly here to stay. The high was about fifty degrees and unfortunately, it has been raining all day. I like the rain. It bothers me when it rains longer than a few hours though. The practical reasoning of staying dry does not annoy me, but more the depressing feeling one gets when they have to endure an entire day without sunshine. Despite weather's sad fate for today, I embarked on an adventure. I attempted to carve a pumpkin-something I have never completely done on my own, but rather my parents when I was seven and I simply drew the face. This time I got down and messy as I scooped slimy goo out of ten pound pumpkin. After I was thoroughly grossed out and exhausted, I finished my smiling pumpkin face (with some help of course...) complete with a cross on the back (picture above).

The pumpkin carving process reminded me of a similar Biblical principle. In the same way that I had to scoop out the "impure" insides of the pumpkin, Christians must get rid of their impurities inside, sin. Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." No one is perfect and everyone has missed the mark of God's perfect standard. We all fall short. The only way to "scoop out" our sins is to give them to Jesus. By dying on the cross for all of humanity, he bridged the gap between sin, which separates us from God. If we choose to put our trust in Him and repent of our sins, Jesus "washes them white as snow." We no longer possess the impurities of our sinful nature and are now pure.

1 John 3:2-3

"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure."

Just like the pumpkin, I am now pure. I want to be pure and innocent, but only through Jesus Christ. I thank Him for saving my life and carving me from my sin to become blameless and pure, a child of God.

-Pumpkin carved with love by Bubbly. Photo by Bubbly's friend.