The cold, leather chair felt unwelcoming as I tiredly and reluctantly sat down to start my homework. What happened to teenage years being the time of your life? Did the word "fun" get deleted from my dictionary? Sometimes I feel far too serious. My mother always told me that. It's a problem you wouldn't think of. Most parents are concerned with their children having too much fun and being not serious enough. I'm different. It's the opposite: I don't have enough fun. When considering dropping some difficult classes, I couldn't bring myself to do it. My mom said to make sure I have enough room in my schedule for a social life. Oops. I guess I left that part out. I'm not saying I don't ever have fun. I don't have enough time to relax and simply be a kid. Isn't that what we are supposed to do as teenagers?Adults are always reminiscing on their childhood saying "when I was your age..." or "if only I could be that age again." I think it was simpler back then. My mom went to the same school I go to now and took the supposedly "advanced" classes at the time. She never once remembered taking school books home or even doing homework. Sure, she has some, but she didn't do it and got straight A's anyway. Life just isn't fair! It really isn't. Of course, when she went to college she had the shock of her life. But, I still wish I had an easier life like her. She had fun in high school! My mom went out with her many friends all of the time and was the "social coordinator" for her class. If only I could go back in time to see what it was really like. It would be fun to not have homework and truly be a teenager.
Sometimes I think society is pushing us too much. They're trying to make us grow up too fast and not leave any room for developing social skills. This is the time when we're supposed to discover who we really are! To make friends and get together with people who share common interests. We are supposed to explore various careers and think about life without the pressure of choosing what to do for the rest of our lives in a split second. This is not how I feel though. The other day I went to a college fair and was overwhelmed by information! How in the world am I expected to suddenly choose a college out of thin air to go to for four years, then randomly choose a career from the hundred or so majors each college proudly displays? It's ludicrous! I have no idea what college I am going to or what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have a few years left to decide, but it scares me. I don't want to leave home and the family I've known all my life to live on my own and become an "adult" at the young age of 18. I'm still a child. I feel like it anyways. Maybe I sound immature, but I'm just reluctant. The idea of college scares me and I don't want to grow up. Perhaps I will feel ready when the time comes, but right now I just want to have fun. I want to be a kid again and not worry about the difficulties of the world. Adults have harder lives than it seems. They have to pay the bills and go to work every day without looking forward to the long breaks we get from school (like the summer!). The image of doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life also scares me. Why would you want to do the same thing all of the time? And not just for a year, but for when you're 20 till 60! Forty years seems like eternity (especially since I haven't even lived half that yet).
Although it scares me to think about the future, God's Word encourages me to not worry about tomorrow. He has a plan for me and will guide me.
John 16:13-15
"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you."
Is that not encouraging? The Spirit of truth will guide you into all truth. It always helps to know that God is guiding you when you're going through your day confused. Many times I feel like I don't have anything together. Like my world is falling apart and I'm standing somewhere in the middle of the mess wondering where to go from there. It's like looking at a map but still being utterly lost at where to go. I don't have all of the answers. I get so lost all of the time and am constantly confused. However, God finds me somewhere in the mess, picks me up, and puts me at the right place. He will guide me into all truth and show me the way. I may not know anything, but God does and has all of the answers. I just need to trust in Him. He is my instruction manual to life.
-Flower picture taken by Bubbly
