He heals the brokenhearted

Last night I should not have attended youth group. I had far too much homework, and I have already stayed up past 10 or 11 for the duration of the week. However, a friend of mine invited me to her youth group and I decided to give it a try. The lesson was on forgiveness. And it was the perfect antidote.

About three months ago I experienced my first heartbreak. I was crushed. Angry. Frustrated. Shocked. Sad. And it was painful. I was truly, truly hurt. Despite my broken heart, I realize that it was all in God's plan. I've learned countless life-long lessons from this event. In fact, I'm still in the process of learning. I've realized that I can't trust in man ("Best Friend" blog post), change is good ("Change" post), pride is one of the worst sins ("Wrong Way!" post), and forgiveness is necessary ("Forgiveness" post). Apart from those, I've gained valuable experiences, and have learned to rely on God for love and satisfaction. What I didn't realize is that these are all connected! In the end, it all comes down to forgiveness.

In the previous post on forgiveness, I was basically exploring my thoughts. I wasn't quite ready to forgive, but I knew I had to sometime or another. I'm still not totally ready, but the youth group lesson last night gave me some insight. I have never learned to forgive because I've never had to before. I'm not referring to the little mishaps within the family where my dad will yell at me and I'll forgive him. I've never experienced something this big.


The youth pastor broke the lesson into three main points. The first is separating the person from the event. This is difficult. Once someone has wronged you, it's nearly impossible to still view that person before the incident. It's as if this one occurence alters your entire perception, and the sin they committed merges into the person. I never thought about this! What a novel idea. After all, God looks at everyone of us with love. He has compassion on us despite our sin - which hurts Him! Jesus is the ultimate example of forgiveness. Even while the Roman soldiers were mocking the "King of the Jews," beating Him, putting a crown of thorns on Him, spitting on Him, and nailing Him to a cross, Jesus still loved them. Yes, He hated their sin. But no, He didn't hate them. Jesus loved us so much that He took the weight of the world upon His shoulders, which was more unbearable than the physical pain - our sin.

Ephesians 1:7 (NIV)

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."

Grace is such a beautiful gift (see "The Free Gift of Grace"). It's the act of loving people despite their sin. Holding grudges is overrated. If God gave us grace, don't you think we should only return the greatest gift by forgiving our friends and family in the same way? Like I mentioned in the earlier forgiveness post, it isn't just "because God said so." Everything God commands is for a reason, and it just so happens that forgiving benefits us in the long run. The past few months I have been angry. I've held onto that anger, letting it fester and grow, and my cold heart is not in the mood to forgive. I know it's part of God's plan, but am I truly trusting Him?

That brings me to the second point: TRUST God. One would think that I have gotten a hold of this concept, considering my many blog posts on this topic (see "Trust" for ex.), but with God nothing ever ends. Yes, I trusted that my heartbreak was part of God's plan, but I didn't fully trust that He would completely, totally, and miraculously mend my broken heart. I just figured I would have to live with the pain and somehow manage, getting through it myself. If you haven't read my blog, then you know this is contrary to my other experiences and beliefs. I don't just "get through it myself." God is my strength! Through Him all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)! One very convicting statement the pastor said went something like this, "If you are playing the silent game and not forgiving the person who hurt you, then that reflects your faith. It means you don't trust that God can fix what's broken." WOW. This was God speaking to me. I have to admit, despite my normal personality, which talks practically non-stop, I have been keeping silent. It's because I'm too afraid to confront the problem. I'm not willing to trust God with everything and just forgive the person! I can't let go of my pride.

Yes, my pride. Again, I have blogged many times about humility ("David - a role model for humility" and "Wrong Way!"). And just like God tells me, "everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" (Luke 14:11). But Satan likes to disguise sin. He whispers in my ear, "You have the right to be angry. After all, you haven't done anything wrong." For a while I believed the lies! I thought I was practically perfect, and especially in the situation. But the pastor's third point stirred my guilty heart. He said the final step in forgiveness is "to lay down your right of being right!" This is a difficult thing to comprehend for us stubborn humans. We are always blaming someone! Why would we ever admit our wrong? I know I observe this on a daily basis with my brother and Dad. Not to point any fingers... but they will blame others for obvious events that they clearly had to do with. The other day my brother hurt himself and blamed me! He claimed I was "in the way" and "intruding in his room" so logically that made him trip? It's funny how we always have to justify our wrongdoings. No one wants to hear of their sin. But it's a reality, and we need to face it sometime or another. Whether it be today or on judgment day.

The pastor said we need to PURSUE forgiveness. We can't just keep playing the silent game and wait for the other person to make the first move. Part of the process is humbling yourself. After all, we are ALL sinners (Romans 3:23). At some point or another in our lives we ourselves have wronged someone. All of this involves trusting God. One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 5:7 : "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Trust Him. He can fix any broken heart!

Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

God may seem far away. He may be invisible. But He is as real as you and me. And He loves all of us so much. One of my favorite parables is in Mathew 18 when a man asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother. He asks if seven times is sufficient. Jesus replies by saying ""I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Although 490 seems like a gargantuan number, Jesus didn't mean that after 490 you should stop forgiving. He was giving an example of just how important forgiveness is. We aren't called to forgive some of the times, or only on Sundays. The pastor brought up Colossians 3:13, which commands us to forgive. This isn't a light topic in the Bible. If it wasn't valuable, Jesus wouldn't have mentioned it, and it wouldn't be mentioned so many other times.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Forgiveness isn't a simple or easy task. It is a process that takes a lot of Scripture and trusting in God. Lately, I've been praying for God to give me the ability to forgive. To help me let go of my pride and take a step of faith. Already, I'm starting to change my perception. God is gradually softening my heart. He can truly mend any broken heart. Praise Jesus for His free gift of grace!

-Bubbly

~Flower picture taken by me. I thought it reflected springtime and forgiveness. It's a new beginning. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8)!

(Love picture from Google)