"Part of something holy"

So today was kind of weird. I woke up early for an orchestra competition, and it went well (besides the freezing cold weather inside and outside!), until we ate at the Red Lantern, a Chinese restaurant. The food was good, but the conversation and company weren't exactly my cup of tea...

I came home angry!!! Usually, I don't get angry, just sad. Lately, my patience has gotten shorter because of lack of sleep. Of course, my anger always ends in tears... Anyway, I labeled today as another day of persecution. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing like underground China or a communist country. But getting hurt emotionally by supposed friends or even acquaintances is painful! And for a sensitive teenage girl like me, the pain is magnified three-fold! Why do I constantly take things personally?!? It's not like they hate me. Nope. They hate God. They hate Jesus. They hate everything the cross stands for. They don't even care! :( Maybe I'm being too harsh and judgmental. But this is how I felt from the things they were saying, the perversion they constantly speak. Everything they seem to do! This kind of thinking is getting me nowhere, but John 15 supports my reasoning.

John 15:18-22 (New International Version)

The World Hates the Disciples

¹⁸"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. ²²If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin.

I used these verses in a previous post after watching a wholesome movie. Honestly, I want to live the holiest life I can possibly live! I don't even want to be in company with people who think otherwise. Because it brings me down! I may live a sheltered life, but it's on purpose! Do you think I actually want to know what all those perverted jokes mean?!? Of course not. Every cuss word I hear, accumulating like a blanket of snow as each snowflake word remains in my ear. I HATE it!!! Honestly, I just wish people would at least recognize their immorality, instead of including profanity in their everyday language. What's worse is the constant insults to people. Words hurt! Putting people down doesn't improve anyone's self-esteem. Not even your own! Every accumulating "that's what she said" joke, and every other sexual innuendo - they are annoying and wrong. Think perverted thoughts in your head! It's ridiculous how everyone laughs at them but me. Am I seriously the only one who doesn't appreciate that sense of humor?

John 7:7

"The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil."

What really hurt me and broke the patience was the talks about homosexuality, evolution, and God in general. With every new burst of laughter, I acquired another burst of anger, boiling inside of me. I was so close to just getting up and leaving. But where? In this scenario, there was no "away." No hiding place to go cry. But is that really the solution? Tears? Something (my inside thoughts, the Bible, and my mother) has been telling me that Satan's solution is merely tears. He wants me to go hide in a hole like a helpless prey. But who's the predator? Satan himself or his evil? Both? Either way, I don't consider them predators. No. Predators always win. Lions chase a helpless gazelle and win by digging sharp teeth into flesh. I know, slightly gruesome. The point is - I'm not that helpless gazelle! And Satan is not that fierce lion. Good will always triumph over evil in the end. God's love and grace will prevail. I will put my faith in the Creator of the universe and trust that He will keep me innocent. I will trust and pray that those orchestra friends will find the truth. And God will bring me freedom from my persecution! He will reveal His purpose and glory to me.

You know, after I had an hour nap and went to work, I got this surge of joy that came out of nowhere! I was happy. The tears had dried and the silent prayer I had said to God was answered. He gave me joy! I may sound like a crazy, over-emotional, radical Christian, but God is good. Always. He brightened my day and this blogging was a wise choice to spend my night. ;) It's perfect.

On my way to work, God brought this song on the radio - just for me. It totally spoke to me. This was the first time I heard it, and to my surprise it was by one of my favorite bands, Stellar Kart! Anyway, it's the typical encouraging Christian song to cheer you up and make you stop crying. :) Or at least, it did with me. Enjoy! I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG NOW!!! :D It also fits into my life-story! My blog is titled "Innocently Yours" for a reason - I am called to be "part of something holy."



-Beautiful flower picture taken by Bubbly ;)

-For more blog topics similar to this (which is basically me venting about the frustrations of the world!), see these previous posts: "'Then they will know that I am the Lord...'" and "Some deep Spring thinking..."

We were born to be part of something holy