When everything falls apart

I was shocked. When I came into my parents bedroom I tried to guess why mom was crying and they were having a "discussion." Never in a million years would I have guessed Dad got laid off again. It just seemed so impossible! How could he, the most qualified man for the position, become unemployed again in less than 2 months?!? It isn't even logical. Whoever decided to lay him off just because they didn't like his "personality" or the fact he is honest, is EVIL. Or at least, that's how I view them. You can't just ruin an entire family like that! What were they thinking? How do they sleep at night? WHY is life so unfair?

Today I cried out to God. It's the only response that accomplishes anything when you're in my shoes. What else can I do? Working at a grocery store isn't going to cut out money to pay for the electric bill or mortgage payment. What's worse - Mom's school is cutting back due to the economy and she now has a part time job. And that scholarship program I wanted to go to so badly - it's TRULY just a dream now. We can't afford it! Mom says not to worry, that this won't affect me at all. She's right and wrong. Last time this happened (he was unemployed for 11 months) life wasn't too bad... but the stress it put on my mother and father - that was hard. To see my mom cry and to see my dad get angry and frustrated after searching and searching for another job, that's the hard part. Their marriage was strained, our family nearly fell apart.

If it wasn't for God, I'm sure my parents would have divorced years ago. If it wasn't for God, I'm sure I would be an emotional wreck every day and probably think suicidal thoughts. If it wasn't for God, my family would be in a much worse state. Honestly, I KNOW this is all in God's plan. He's the brains, not me. So the only response I have is to TRUST Him with all my heart, soul, and mind. I will pray continually and in all circumstances, being thankful for everything that He has given me - my family, friends, and food and shelter. It's not like I'm homeless right now! Thanks be to God that I am alive in Him! That's all I ever need. You can take away my dad's job. You can take away my possessions, my house, even my family. You can never take away my God. His unfailing love, unending grace, and everlasting joy will never fade. "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song" (Psalm 28:7).

Isaiah 28:16 (NIV)

So this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;
the one who trusts will never be dismayed.

A song that clearly says my thoughts is "Everything Falls" by Fee. I actually saw them in concert, which was basically just a giant night of worship! This song is so encouraging because literally, when EVERYTHING FALLS APART, God doesn't.

when everything falls apart
your arms hold me together
when everything falls apart
you're the only hope for this heart
when everything falls apart
and my strength is gone
i find you mighty and strong
you keep holding on
you keep holding on

(Storm image found on Google when I typed in "when everything falls apart." I think a storm accurately fits the description... and my life right now)