Prom daydreaming and the peace of prayer

Right now, the only thing on my mind is prom. :) Tomorrow is going to be AWESOME!!! The orthodontist said I can start wearing my retainer only at night on May 1st. How perfect - just in time for prom pictures! I'm going with this Chinese exchange student (a friend of my friend), which will be fun. But the most exciting part is wearing the gorgeous red dress a friend let me borrow, and taking a lot of pictures! ;) But... despite the excitement (and loads of homework and studying for AP exams - yeah I haven't started that), I've still been making prayer a priority in my life. Why? Because I will never forget how AWESOME God is. That will never change, and so far, I've been amazed at what prayer can do.

For starters, I guess the number one, most pivotal and perfect product of prayer is peace. Talk about a lot of "p"s in one sentence! But I love alliterations. ;) Anyway, the following verses amaze me every time I come across them. It brings me to my knees and makes me want to raise my hands in praise to God!!!

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Read that last line again: the PEACE of God, which TRANSCENDS all understanding will GUARD your hearts and minds in CHRIST JESUS. A talented writer may write eloquently, but I am convinced that nothing can compare to the Word of God. It can speak to us in miraculous ways, and is the power of God. In 1 Corinthians 2:1, Paul says, "When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God." He continues, "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Can I hear an AMEN to that? Really, when it comes down to it, the only thing in life that matters is the cross, and what was accomplished there.

Today during orchestra, this guy was basically attempting to discredit the cross - what it symbolizes. He said that technically, the cross is a bad depiction of death - that people who hate Christianity should wear it, not the other way around (he even included examples of celebrities wearing the cross to mock it). You know what I said to him? The cross is a symbol of love. It's a symbol of grace and forgiveness, and everything that Christianity stands for! Jesus DIED for the world's sins. He bore it on the cross, just because He loved us. He defeated death. I will continue to wear the cross until the day I die, despite influences around me. Because I know that it symbolizes Jesus' great love for me, and I will never let go of that beautiful grace.

On my way home from school, the song "Oh Happiness" came on the radio, and I couldn't help but sing along. Something inside of me was genuinely happy. Why? Because of grace. The lyrics go: "Oh happiness, there's grace enough for us and the whole human race." AMEN. :) The definition of happiness is grace.


(Picture taken by Bubbly - it's a close up of my prom dress!!!)

An Experiment for Change

Last week I began an experiment. It wasn't a carefully decided, thought out plan, but an epiphany from God. Following the FCA Lock-In, I was on a mountain. I wanted nothing more than to give out Bibles to my entire school. But, for the moment, I decided to compromise that plan and hand out daily Bible verses instead. So, ever since last Tuesday, I have been giving encouraging words each day to my orchestra (I always run out after that). People responded in different ways... One girl was like, "Whoa, aren't you pushing your beliefs on people?" But two seconds later a girl gladly took my piece of paper and was thankful to feel included. That's all I want to do - make people's day brighter. Oh, and feed them with a daily dose of the Holy Spirit and God's unfailing Word. It breaks my heart to see people who have never even opened up a Bible or heard from its glorious pages. How will they ever know the truth if they've never heard from it? It amazes me to see people who claim the Bible is a bunch of bologna and then when I ask them if they've read it, they respond, "Heck, no." (Possibly saying "h-e-double hockey sticks" instead...) Anyway, I just simply want to carry out the Great Commission one memory verse at a time. :) It's what God has called me to do.

John 8:12 (NIV)

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'"

Verses like these give me courage to stand out and do something. I may not be the most confident girl, but I have enough confidence to have faith. I have enough confidence to be a light for Jesus. God gives me enough confidence to do all things. Some girls are beautiful, others are confident. Some have popularity, others have money. I have the God of the universe. Even if I had all of those things, I would give them all up for the sake of the gospel. I would be content in rags, as long as I had my Savior, the bread of life.

I say these things because I feel persecuted. Not in the real, dangerous, intensity that missionaries experience in China or places that don't allow Christianity, but in the mild way where I am made fun of because of my faith - because of God's truth. I know they're just kidding, and are my friends, but it's hard when you feel like the only one. It's discouraging when they continue to think of creation and God's Word as ludicrous! But I will press on. For I know that God not only brings everlasting life, but love beyond comprehension, and joy I can't contain. It may sound corny, but I just can't get enough of Jesus! He is the love of my life.

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one
thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I
press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward
in Christ Jesus."

One song that encourages me to press on is Britt Nicole's new song "The Lost Get Found."'

(This specific video has a commentary by Britt Nicole. I recommend it, but if you don't have time, then you can just fast forward to the music video)

-Yellow flower picture by Bubbly ;) (Mi color favorito es amarillo! That's Spanish for "my favorite color is yellow")

PRAYER

Well, I've officially had 70 posts. :) It's amazing when you think of all the time I spent writing for this blog, and everything I've written (I could compile it into a book someday...), but I believe it was worth every second of it. Honestly, this blog is simply a giant prayer to God (and a bunch of my rambling thoughts about God). Which leads me to this post's topic: prayer.

A good friend of mine let me borrow a book called "A Young Woman's Call to Prayer" by Elizabeth George. I've only read the first chapter, but so far it's been phenomenal! It's exactly what I needed at this point in my walk with God. You see, I've never exactly been huge on praying... I did write a previous post about it in January. That's when I decided to start the alarm system plan. I set my alarm for everyday at 7:07 pm. It was like a personal phone call from God, and I would pray to Him - telling Him about my day and simply talking to my best friend. However, business wreaked havoc. After no time, I was turning my alarm off because of conflicts like work and speech team rehearsals or even Bible study and youth group! I just wasn't getting that one-on-one time with God. The book I'm reading talks about that - reasons and barriers to keep people from praying. But you know what? Prayer is VITAL to grow in a relationship with Christ. That's why I've started something different. Perhaps, night time isn't the best time to pray. So, I've moved my official prayer time to the morning (I figure it's the perfect way to start the day). Now, I've already scheduled my daily Bible reading in the morning, before school. Let's just say that hasn't worked out so well... again, business. I've been sleeping and snoozing through my alarm everyday - completely missing my Bible time. On top of it, I've been sleeping through Ezekiel when I've attempted to read and not get distracted. I've been wondering why I'm so depressed lately, and these obvious signs never hit me! Without communication with God - through His word and prayer - life is bound to get difficult.

I've always wondered why Matthew 11:30 says, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." But now I'm learning that 1. life's never going to be perfect, and 2. it's going to be even more wearisome if we don't know God more. After all, God carries our burden for us and improves life's hardships. If we aren't talking to Him or learning more about Him, how is that supposed to happen? The following are useful verses about prayer (from Elizabeth George's book on prayer).

Luke 11:1 Lord, teach us to pray.

Matthew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 7:7-8 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Luke 18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Ephesians 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray continually.

1 Peter 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

Dear Father, thank-you for the wonderful gift of prayer. Help me to be devoted to prayer and pray continually. I yearn to please You, grow in You, and pray to You until the day I die. Keep your promise to me and help me to know your love and endless grace. I love you. Forgive me of my selfish desires and sin. Let your will be done and teach me to know your will. Let your kingdom come, Lord. If you want me to go on the Mexico missions trip, so be it. I will go. Keep me and every other missionary safe. Thank-you for this glorious day. Bring me peace to know that You have a perfect plan. Amen.

-AWESOME and BREATHTAKING and GLORIOUS cloud picture by Bubbly ;) God is good. All the time.

That's why there's grace

Today I felt like writing a song. It's the third song I've written, and I think it's the best so far. :)

That's why there's grace

I've tried my hardest to be perfect

You'd think a goody-two-shoe girl would get it right

You'd think I'd trust my God with everything

But every time I end up on my face and on the ground

That's when you pick me up

That's when you wipe the tears off my face

That's when you tell me, "No one's perfect, that's why there's grace."

That's why there's grace

[I'll bring you freedom]

I've looked for love a thousand times

You'd think a pretty girl wouldn't need someone to tell her so

You'd think I'd let God's love satisfy

But every time there's this emptiness, a loneliness, and a broken heart

A broken heart

(Chorus)

Bridge

Why can't I let you be Lord of my life?

Why can't I let your love consume me?

Jesus heal my heart and bring me peace

I know you satisfy

Fill me with this fire

I am confident that you are truly, madly, in love with me!

(Chorus)

I've tried my hardest to be perfect

Why do I bother myself – no one can please humans

But Lord you know my sin – my faults, my shame, and imperfections

And to you I am perfect

You love me as I am

Honestly, I came home from church frustrated. Why? Well - at my family, at life, at confusion over everything. I have no idea what God wants for me right now. I am scared about everything and angry at my imperfections. I just try so hard, again, and again. But for what? I always fail. With tears running down my face, I ask, "Why God?" I yearn to please everyone, but I fail to realize one thing: God is already pleased. He loves me just as I am, and so much that He sent Jesus to bring grace. That's the beauty of it. Grace solves all problems. No one ever needs to earn their salvation. In fact, it's impossible! Because we aren't perfect, the only way to Heaven is through grace. And in my opinion, the only way through life is by grace. I can't imagine what life would be like without God's free gift of grace. It would lack purpose, joy, and peace. Oh I can't tell you how comforting it is to know God. His peace transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

A song came on the radio last night that really touched me. It was "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. I've seen them in concert two different times, but the message to this song speaks to me in different ways each time I hear it. Especially the beginning:

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

Do you notice any similarities compared to my song? They are basically about the same frustrations. "Trying to earn grace" and "looking for love." These are common problems the world faces, but God brings freedom. He will always be by our side, ready to comfort us in any trouble. :)

-Yellow flower picture by Bubbly

The worry wart and the red porsche

I didn't get a chance to finish my story from the previous post about last week. So on Saturday I blew it again. God has been trying to teach me how to relax and not stress or freak out so much about everything all the time! It's extremely difficult to just let Him take the wheel. In this case, literally, it was letting my dad take the wheel...

It was the day after the FCA lock-in, so I was running on 3 hours of sleep. After playing a horribly out of tune quartet for the all-state contest, I went home to take a 2 hour nap. You guessed it - I slept through my alarm. By some miracle, I woke up at a quarter till 12 (when we performed for chamber orchestra), just enough time to make it if we left right away. Unfortunately, my dad isn't perfect and has a high tendency to be late... to EVERYTHING. He decided to take the bright, hot red 9-11 Porsche. You might be thinking I'm the luckiest girl in the world, but I thought completely contrary. I hate the porsch. It not only practically consumes my dad's life, but it doesn't work 90% of the time, it is totally unnecessary, and everyone stares at it. I do like to be the center of attention when I give speeches or talk, but for this, I'd rather be invisible. Not only that, but I almost died of hyperventilation due to the fear of getting a ticket, which increasing 700% when you get in this speed demon of a car. The BRIGHT RED doesn't help the cause either. Add that to my dad actually speeding overexessively and you've got a freaked out little girl. My dad also decided to take the longest route possible in the worst traffic ever. I am fairly confident we would have made it on time if we took the interstate - the logical way. But Dad said he was taking the "short cut." It was the longest possible way to get there. You couldn't have made it any longer if you tried! We arrived over 10 minutes late, and I was so sick of life.

After I discovered (as I already pessimistically predicted), I completely missed the performance. I didn't get to do my minor solo, and I got up from my glamorous nap for nothing. When I went outside to leave for more sleep, my dad was no where to be found. That's just lovely! You know, the logical place to meet would be the car. But, no. My dad decided to go inside as soon as he parked to go find me, even though I specifically told him they were already done and it would only take a minute. I was SO ANGRY that I just wanted to.... well I don't know. What are you supposed to do with that anger?!? After another 15-20 minutes, we finally got back in the horrific porsch to go home. My dad could sense the anger simmering inside my body. He was perfectly calm and cool. Nothing ever phases him! Well, at that moment, that's a blessing.

My dad told me the perfect prayer quote, "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can." This saying hit me hard. Really, there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix the problem. Unless I invent a time machine, there is never any hope that I will make it on time, now. So why in the world should I nearly have a heart attack to worry over something in the past? Honestly, it makes more logical sense to worry about the future, versus the past, but I worry about all 3 - past, present, and future! :( If it doesn't do any good, then it's not worth wasting my energy over. But, you'd think I would have learned that before... you'd think I would have learned my lesson from the past 100 events similar to this. No. This is one lesson I don't think I'll ever fully learn - after all, is there any one concept you can learn once and be done with? With imperfect humans, there is never a checklist. This is one thing I've learned over the past year, yet I still get upset over this fact. The good news is, we have a perfect God, who loves us as we are - imperfections and all. And His word gives us the encouragement we need to live in a fallen world, to cope with our sin, and to walk in freedom.

Matthew 6:27 (NIV)

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

-Red 9-11 Porsche picture taken by my dad (it's his pride and joy... :P)

Footprints in the Sand

Last week was... too crazy for words. I cried every day, yet God was teaching me life lessons. It was like a roller coaster - I went up and down constantly. I can't say it was a terrible week or a fabulous week. It was neither! Through it all, God was beside me. Actually, it was exactly like the Footprints in the Sand poem.

Footprints in the Sand - Poem

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

Let's start at the beginning. Sunday, I cried over a $20 bill (see "He hears me when I cry" post). Monday was super busy and stressful with homework, and other FCA stuff. Tuesday my hormones went out of whack (see hormones post)! I was basically upset for no reason. Wednesday I was on a high! God spoke to me directly through a green comet (see blog post). :) I literally felt invincible. Then I hit an all-time low the next day - Thursday...

I was so frustrated over my "stupid" research paper, as I called it. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I had spent all Wednesday re-writing it, and all for nothing, I felt. On top of that, I was split between the FCA Lock-In and that. You'd think two things all for the glory of God wouldn't ever become a problem. But Satan has a way of turning anything into a lie. That's exactly what he was doing. I heard reoccurring lies in my head all day and night. Lies telling me I was good for nothing. Telling me that I would fail at life. My mom spent time telling me all I needed to do on the research paper was not be judgmental. She said that would be the only sin I would struggle with in my life. That Satan would use pride to tell me that I was a "good Christian girl," when in reality pride is "the greatest sin of all," that caused Satan, the once great angel, to fall. But I kept questioning that: can you really say that one sin is greater than all of the others? I don't really know. :( But my mother's lecture was even more depressing.

It's all because of this vicious cycle. You see, I am the most extreme perfectionist. Everything in my life has to be flawless. I constantly compare myself to others. Just when I think I've reached it (which is never possible, by the way, no one's perfect), I realize my sin and get upset all over again. I just dig myself deeper into a hole. I keep on stressing over everything, then about my imperfection, and then about the idea or concept of stressing over my imperfection and conviction of sin! :P IT NEVER ENDS. With this frustrating, interminable cycle, my mother said she's scared I'll have a nervous breakdown or heart attack at age 20. This causes me to worry myself to death about worrying myself to death!!! Does that even make sense? I'm just a mess. :( Satan wants to tell me I will never get out. That I'm just stuck with my eccentric personality and insane ability to worry. My mom asked me to name one thing I'm good at. There was complete silence for one whole minute. I honestly couldn't think of ONE thing. To me, I had to be perfect. Since nothing in my life or about me was perfect, I figured I was doomed. She started naming a huge list, and had me repeat them. I didn't believe any of them for a second. They were the truth! Yet I wasn't convinced because Satan's lies sunk in so deep. I had my second emotional breakdown, but not as bad as the last one. Despite my low self-esteem and lies swirling through my head, I know for a FACT, that God was fighting back this week. He always does. Just like the Footprints poem, God carried me through the storm.

God does work in mysterious ways. Friday was a nightmare and a blessing all in one. I told myself I wouldn't stress out or freak out. My brother wanted to go out to lunch and I reluctantly agreed. I was already running late, so Wendy's didn't seem appealing. I raced to the car. During my marathon, I encountered a fiasco with these girls. I ran in front of them so fast, and so close, that they screamed at each other, "Oh my God!" Their tone suggested that they were thinking I was some sort of freak. Well, I certainly thought I was. That's embarrassing event #1 (only 3 more to go!). After we purchased baconaters, french fries, and frosties; I gobbled mine down in the car so fast that I didn't even enjoy them. It was three minutes till the bell rang, so I grabbed the remaining frosty and sprinted to the school, scooping the chocolate shake in my mouth. At one point, when I was only a few feet away from the front entrance, I tripped. Now, this wasn't a little trip. I basically combined 17 trips in one! It's was one of those times where you trip, catch your balance for a nanosecond, then trip again, regain balance, trip, etc. This occurred almost the entire way to the school. Luckily, there were probably 15 different students outside watching this. Most of them didn't hesitate to laugh out loud (not "lol," more like "HA HA YOU'RE A LOSER"). Embarrassing moment #2. Two wasn't enough apparently, because it was a few seconds from a quarter till (when the bell rings). I slammed open the door to my Spanish class, and stopped. Something was strange... wait, this wasn't my class! The strangers stared at me in confusion, but really I was the confused one. I ran out, slamming the door a second time, and went right to the restroom. The only thing I wanted was to literally dig myself a hole and hide in it forever. Since I had D lunch, the bell rang for passing time, not class! I had another five minutes. Why was I so worried about being late anyway? Well that was definitely embarrassing moment #3. At that time, I was ready to just go home and cry a mountain. I decided to write a letter to God instead.

The letter helped, but I nearly cried for no reason at all twice during my AP Environmental Science class. We were just merely discussing water and there I go tearing up (thank goodness no one noticed... or at least I hope not). I planned to do the only thing I could think of. I went to my FCA Coach/Sponsor's room. It seems like the only safe-haven in the whole school. I came in and just started crying (I feel bad for him, but he's used to it and knows I am a very sensitive, emotional girl). I said, "I am not in the emotional, physical, or spiritual state for this Lock-In." Luckily, other FCA leader friends were there and they gave me a hug. :) One of my friends read Scripture to me from Psalm 73. God just spoke to me. It felt great. Then I let out all of my problems, insecurities, and fears to her. Really, I felt like I was crying for no reason, but it was an accumulation of stress that caused this week's emotions (that and hormones). She asked if I wanted to go for a car ride and I agreed. She took me to eat a snow cone at Fruitzen. It was just what I needed! We relaxed in the park while we ate delicious fruity snow cones. I had to go to a tennis meet next, but she gave me the encouragement I needed for the upcoming Lock-In (that night!). By some miracle, I won my tennis meet. I proceeded to the Lock-In and it was AWESOME. We planted many seeds and I just pray that God will make them grow and that we impacted people for His kingdom.

I'm running out of time because I have to finish my research paper and homework. But Saturday was like Thursday and Friday. I will explain that in the next post. :) Goodnight!

These were the verses that gave me spiritual encouragement on Friday:

Psalm 73:21-28 (NIV)

²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

-Footprints picture from Google

Green Comet and God's Glory

The most phenomenal thing happened tonight. It's certainly supernatural, and definitely GOD. All I can say is "GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After I went to youth group tonight, my friend let me try on her prom dresses (I'm going to prom this year with a Chinese exchange student). They were gorgeous. She was even sweet enough to give one to me! :) When she walked me to my car, we were talking about the FCA Lock-In this Friday. There are 56 signed up! We just hope that someone might get saved, because there are going to be many non-believers. Just after I got done saying that, I saw a flash of green light in the corner of my eye. It looked like a gargantuan firework. I pointed and showed my friend (she didn't even notice it). It was the MOST MAGNIFICENT thing EVER. It was a COMET!!!!!!! :D It was so close and so real that I thought it was like a meteor that would make a crater in the nearby neighborhood. But when it's time was up, it slowly faded away... I KNEW IT WAS GOD. I honestly felt God's presence as the cool wind blew and the stars glistened in perfect harmony with the brilliant green comet. How can someone see that and not immediately think God?

Psalm 19:1-2 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge"

I know it's a common verse, and cliche for me. But God's word never fades or grows old. Every time I read a verse it speaks to me differently - that's because the Word of God is living and constantly revealing itself to different people. I am soooooooooooo thankful God knows me. But I am even more blessed to know Him. :) I serve the God of the UNIVERSE. Nothing is more powerful. There is no greater love. God - THANK-YOU for that comet. You clearly spoke to me tonight. Let your glory shine for the WORLD!

Immediately after the comet faded, I told my friend we should pray. I knew God was standing beside me, enjoying my awe. I prayed that He might work miracles at the Lock-In. That we might plant seeds and He might make them grow. (1 Corinthians 3:7). I felt God's power at that moment. I knew I was invincible and nothing could stop me! At that moment, there wasn't anything that would make me turn around. "As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." I KNOW God exists. If that comet isn't proof, then my life is. God works miracles every day. There are no such thing as coincidences. God placed that comet in the sky specifically for me. I know so. :) Thank-you JESUS!

The second I got in the car, this song began playing. Again, definitely a God thing. ;) This song displayed the exact feeling I got after the comet. I am invincible! (Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me")


-Green comet picture from Google. My comet looked almost EXACTLY like this. Except WAY closer and WAY more real. It was HUGE. And the most MAGNIFICENT thing in the UNIVERSE. ;)