One Resolution

It's a few hours away from another new year. People are celebrating with fireworks and funky hats. Welcoming 2010 and the start of another decade. As we look forward to new year's resolutions, we reflect on the past. Our experiences that occurred in just 365 days. Time has always fascinated me. Think about it: we'll never live through another December 31st 2009 ever again! How strange is that? Everyday is a new chance, yet once it disappears, it's the last of its kind. I'm probably just rambling, but I am a very sentimental person. I love to take pictures because I'm all about capturing the moment. Capturing the beauty. Ultimately capturing the day. Because it's as unique as a snowflake! Sometimes this takes away from simply living. Instead of enjoying the moment, I'm caught trying to get the "perfect" picture so I can always remember it. But think about the logic behind this idea. I mean, what's it worth to you to remember the past anyway? Is it as valuable as spending time with your family, or accomplishing something? If I counted the number of seconds I spent thinking about the past, it would be innumerable! What if, I used that time to spend more time with God, or help a friend in need. I could even read a book and gain knowledge. Anything would be better than dwelling on history. Don't get me wrong, history is a great thing (not that I'm too enthused with my AP US History class right now....). It prevents us from making further mistakes. But, there is a difference from rebuilding and preserving. One of my devotionals (from my new book by Beth Moore "Breaking Free Day by Day" -See "Freedom!" post) made this distinction.

"'Make Your way to the everlasting ruins, to all that the enemy has destroyed in the sanctuary.' Psalm 74:3. You may have taken many looks back at your life and found nothing but reasons to be angrier or more depressed. I understand. I've done exactly the same. Then I learned the difference between rebuilding and preserving. I was reminded of this as I stood at the Acropolis in Athens. Our guide estimated how much money they spend every year 'preserving the ruins.' We do the same thing ourselves. Rather than working with God to rebuild, we just keep revisiting and preserving. We never get over it. But that's about the best we can do, unless we make sure never to go back there without God, our only sure Restorer."

When I read this, I realized how futile dwelling on the past is. It doesn't rebuild! It doesn't do anything to help in the present or today. In fact, preserving is a completely unnecessary waste of time (well, I still like pictures, but perhaps a couple pictures will suffice instead of hundreds)! It's always good to have good memories and reflect a little. But not if those thoughts prevent you from enjoying life today. The same is true (more so, I think) with bad memories. A family member's death, a lost job, a broken relationship-it's worthless to dwell on those. That will only make you more sad and brokenhearted. Personally, I could think myself to death! So someone let you down in life-well that's life! We're all human and we still have sin, even if Jesus has saved us. It's hard to get through (I know!), but you'll never be able to let God rebuild it if you don't let go. Once you learn to let go and let God restore, you'll finally experience freedom! Freedom to enjoy life and God's great love.

I can fit my reflection of 2009 in one sentence (but you know I'll expand-after all, I love to talk!): God gave me more learning experiences than I've ever had! Well, I guess I can't make this huge of claim considering I learn so much every day, and each year I become more mature, therefore learning differently. But, this year they have been more significant and evident in my life. I use the word mature in every way. Not only am I more mature in age, but also spiritually. I mature socially and academically in school. As I grow closer to God, our relationship strengthens and I become more mature in my faith. I am even growing physically as I become more of a young woman and am taller (not as tall as my younger brother though!). I've almost read the entire Bible (the entire New Testament and the Old Testament through Job)! My friends have come and gone, changing like the seasons. I've gotten sick a total of six times this year! Lucky me, got to experience Bronchitis, Pneumonia, and completely losing my voice. Yeah, that part wasn't too fun, but every time I got sick, I readjusted my view on life and learned something from it. I got my license and crashed into a pole (see "The Result of My Over-Analytical Self and Lack of Observation"). Recently, I even ran into a glass door (I'll blog about that later). My family found a new church and a whole bunch of more friends. School still gives me a similar rigorous course load, but every year I acquire valuable knowledge. I've learned about different cultures as well because my family has the opportunity to host a German exchange student. Honestly, it's been a great year filled with more than my mind can handle and quite frankly more than I can type right now (my family is getting upset because I'm the last one awake).

Overall, I'm just filled with joy when I think about all of things God has taught me. He truly is a great God and I am so grateful for His love. It amazes me to think that every year I grow closer to Him and grow in my relationship. All I want to do in life is spend time with Him and learn about Him (and I will 24/7 for eternity in Heaven!!! -3 exclamation marks were necessary there). A song popped in my head today, when I was praying, called "Draw Me Close to You." It's a common worship song I hear in church, but the words speak to me every time.

"Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near"

I sang it today in my grandparent's closet (again... see "Freedom!"). It's everything I desire in life (and for this new year): to know God and for Him to draw me close to Him. I want to read His word more and more, to pray, to worship Him and give Him the glory He deserves! I want to share His good news with everyone I know and pray that they can only experience His wonderful joy and unfailing love. This is my purpose in life. It's my new year resolution for every year. I just hope that I can learn more every year!

~Thank you Jesus for another fantastic year with you by my side! Draw me close to you and never let me go. I desire you and you alone. Let me live for you and by your love. You satisfy all my needs and wants. The least I can do to repay you is give you glory. I fail again and again, Lord. But you pick me up and forgive me with your wonderful grace. You sent your son to bear the shame of sin and defeat it just for me. Your love is nothing like the world's. It is never ending and unfailing. I put all my trust in you, God. With all my heart, Love Bubbly. <3

I thought a sunset picture would be appropriate to end the new year with. God's beauty is something to appreciate. He's the one who tells the sun to rise and set each day and He certainly has a plan for me and my life. Lately (I'm in Florida), I've tried to capture the beauty of a sunset with a palm tree. The funny thing is, each day it's so different! God's creativity and uniqueness astounds me. Sunsets are gorgeous. :)

-New Year Clock picture and Sunset Palm Tree picture found on Google