Failure

On Monday I declared myself a failure at life. It might seem a little extreme for a girl with a 4.2 GPA, who's 1st chair second violin in orchestra, and (above all else) has Jesus for a personal Savior. I ignored these facts, and instead chose to focus on the negatives. Monday was just a terrible day! Everything seemed to be going wrong and I felt like a failure. I also chose to ignore what calling myself a failure does to God. He created me and gave me my talents! If I'm a failure, that's suggesting that He is too. But that's not what I mean at all! God is perfect. Last time I checked, perfect is the opposite of failure.

It started with the cheerio bars. I volunteered to make 150 peanut-butter cheerio bars for an FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) fundraiser. I even sacrificed my Saturday morning! Unfortunately, my mother's amazing recipe is foreign to the average teenager. "What's a cheerio bar?" most people asked while glaring at the seemingly gross substance before them. I had to explain to them that it's just like a rice-krispee treat, but with peanut butter and cheerios. It really is better than a boring rice-krispee treat! If they would just try them, I'm sure we would have sold out in minutes. But, I was left selling cheerio bars all week. If that wasn't discouraging enough, the majority of people claimed they didn't have money with them! I felt like a hopeless mess.

The day progressively got worse. At lunch I asked a friend how the speech team did (since I had to work, and was making cheerio bars during the competition, luckily mine was pre-recorded). He said that 19 out of our 21 teams made it to state. This was exciting! But when I asked which ones did not make it, I was fortunate enough to hear that I belonged to the two losing teams. How wonderful! My math teacher asked if I felt better after lunch. If only he knew how much worse I felt! I told him I felt like a failure and he reassured me that I wasn't. But I still doubted that as I thought ahead to my orchestra auditions at night. If I didn't think negative thoughts about the past, or the present, you can be sure I thought negatively about the future! I know it's silly and pointless. But Satan was using my mind as a fortress for a low self-esteem. When I went home, I explained my horrible day to my dad, and he just criticized me! I ran to my room crying and thought that everyone thought I was as much of a failure as I felt.

Remember how I said that God is perfect? I found this neat verse in Hebrews:

Hebrews 2:10 (NIV)

"In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering."

I never thought I would see the phrase "perfect through suffering." Yet, here it is, plainly seen in the Bible! My failures turned into perseverance and built character. My suffering was made perfect through God's salvation. You want to know the end of the story and my horrible Monday? It worked out fine. In fact, my worst fear of not selling the cheerio bars and becoming stale were eliminated when I sold my last four bars Thursday morning. The speech team failure wasn't my fault, even though I told myself it was (Satan is the father of lies). My orchestra audition that I was afraid of failing, wasn't a complete failure. I got eighth chair, but the amazing thing is the audition excerpts they chose. It was the easiest part of the song! This was a gift from God and made my Monday better. My week as a whole was difficult, but I learned the value of perseverance.

James 1:2-4 (NIV)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Even though I felt like a failure at life on Monday, I persevered and held on to the hope of Jesus, who is right by my side through every obstacle. It all works out according to His plan. I had planned to sell every cheerio bar Monday morning. This obviously wasn't God's plan, considering we sold them till Thursday. But if I had given up, then I wouldn't have accomplished anything. Trusting in God is difficult when you feel like a failure. But through every trial, I know that He is teaching me an important lesson. Last week's lesson: perseverance.

~God doesn't view me as a failure in life, and neither are you! God bless you all! <3 Jesus loves you. :)

-Failure picture: I found this cool saying about failure on Google. It keeps everything in perspective!