Freedom!

After finally wrestling the precious computer (considering it's the only one here) from the hands of my cousin, brother, and German exchange student, I brought the black laptop (complete with bright orange lights on the keyboard, I know, cool right?) into my grandparent's closet. It may not seem like it, but right now it seems like the most appropriate place in the condo. A few minutes ago I was sitting in this exact same spot, huddled against the wall behind my grandpa's robes, beside the laundry basket, hiding. I don't know who I was hiding from, it certainly wasn't a game of hiding-go-seek. But I just wanted to get away. Get away from humanity. To hide my tears. To hide my pain. Okay, now it sounds like a soap opera, or at least a poorly written scrip to a pitiful depressed story about a teenage girl with emotional issues (what teenage girl doesn't?). I'm not here to write about my problems, simply how God solved them.

A friend of mine let me borrow one of her devotional books called "Breaking Free Day by Day" by Beth Moore. It is a fabulous book and I desire to purchase it myself when I get a change to travel to the Christian bookstore. Have I told you there's no such thing as coincidences (I do recall mentioning it once), well I'll say it again. There is no such thing as coincidences! Everything in life is for a purpose and the more seconds I live, the more I see God reveal Himself to me in marvelous ways. I know He cares for me and loves me unconditionally. That's all I ever need.

Recently, I've been sad, angry, and frustrated. I just don't understand how people can change. I don't understand why... well why they aren't perfect, I guess. I'm just so frustrated at the sin of the world and the things it claims to satisfy. Because they don't exist. Fairytales (as much as the little girl in me would like to not believe) are false. Prince charming was never born. And to be frank, most chick flick romance movies are clearly unrealistic. I mean, since when were all guys naturally poetic with their words and were always there for you, saving the day? Only in my dreams, only in my dreams...

Clothes. Fashion. Popularity. It's worthless! Even if I was a billionaire, with a gargantuan closet complete with the latest fashions-clothes, jewelery, shoes, accessories, everything my heart desired-I would still feel empty. I would always want more, no matter how big my wardrobe was. It's pathetic, really. The way our society advertises how great the life of a celebrity is. How nice it is to be loved by everyone, rich and famous, on magazine covers and in movies. Nice-yes. Satisfying-no. There is one thing in life, as many times as I've come to this conclusion, and as many times I've ended up right in the same place (not always my grandparent's closet, usually mine), begging God to forgive me for thinking the world could fill me up, only Jesus can fill the hole, He is the bread of life.

I'm in Florida paradise right now. Today, I went shopping to my heart's content, spending way more than I should, and buying an excessive amount of unnecessary things that will fill up my already full walk in closet. But was it really to my heart's content? Did it really make me happy? Yes, and no. In the moment of shopping, when I was surrounded by cute clothes and modeled them in the mirror, I was bursting with happiness. I even suspended the moment by putting on a mini-fashion show for my father. But then I ran out of clothes. I put them away in the bag and that was it. Fun over. It's a temporary happiness that fades as quickly as the setting sun, gone before you know it, missing the chance to even snap a picture of its beauty. I had fun today, but not only am I guilty for buying so many clothes (especially since some girls don't have any), I am also not happy. Well, at least not from the clothes.

The devotion I read a few minutes ago, from Beth Moore's "Breaking Free," that most hit me was from 2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." Freedom. What a wonderful word. The moment I hear it, I immediately think U.S. History class and America-the land of opportunities and freedom. I am so blessed to live in America, and I thank God for this country, but I would have freedom even if I wasn't. Even if I lived in true poverty, in a country filled with terrorism and hate, with no food or water, or even a house to live in, I would still be free. Even if I was a slave and was bound to serve my master for life, I would be free. Do you know that everyone is a slave? We are all slaves to sin. But only Jesus Christ sets us free-free from the emptiness inside, free from the heartbreaking reality of life and the not-so-fairytale endings. The passage from the devotion today was perfect, and exactly what I needed (believe me, coincidences don't exist).

"I begin each day in God's Word. And somewhere in the midst of my morning time with God, I ask Him to satisfy all my longings and fill all my hollow places with His lavish, unfailing love. This frees me from craving the approval of others and requiring others to fill my 'cup.' Then, if someone takes the time to demonstrate love to me, that's the overflow. I'm free to appreciate and enjoy it, but I don't require it emotionally. See how God's love brings freedom? Not only are we freed; we are able to free others from having to boost us up all the time. Where the Spirit of the Lord's lavish love is, there is freedom!"

That's a neat way of looking at it. What a great analogy: to ask God to fill up the emptiness and then people's love is just the overflow of the already full cup. She said it frees other from having to boost us up. I don't know about you, but sometimes I crave compliments. It's just so flattering to hear someone call you pretty or say you have the most beautiful eyes. As humans, we are so easily lifted up by this sort of praising. But what happens when it ends? Will you constantly get compliments every second? Is it enough to survive on? Living on praise, popularity, or wealth is a dangerous game. There's always the one condition: what happens when it ends? Everything eventually comes to an end. Even our lives will reach their due date and expire. But with Christ there is not only freedom, but eternal freedom! He not only satisfies us in the present life, but also forever. One of my favorite stores (they have gorgeously cute clothes!) is Forever 21. I like the idea of being 21 forever, even though I'm technically younger than that. But who knows what heaven will be like. Perhaps I will actually get to be 21 forever! Forever seems like a long time, but imagine spending eternity with God, who loves you unconditionally and truly satisfies your every need and want! I can't wait for that day. But until then, I will pray continually for God to fill my cup. I will pray for myself to learn to desire His praise and love. To not crave on compliments or worldly possessions, but to live each day for Christ and His glory. To find freedom through Him and be eternally content. Thank you Jesus! <3

-From the not so sad anymore Bubbly, for God has wiped the tears off my face and carried me out of my hiding place. I'm free from the darkness and sin that once bound me. I'm free from the emptiness the world left me. I'm free to live for Jesus and I am filled with joy! :)


-Beach picture actually of "Freedom Beach." How ironic! I figured it was appropriate since I'm in Florida right now. ;) Found on Google.
-Broken chains picture also found on Google.