Grades - Believing the Lie

I had an excellent 3 day weekend. Well, it was technically 3 1/2 days after another half day. Either way, I enjoyed every second of it. Normally my weekend is composed of rigorous homework, a busy schedule, and lack of sleep. Instead, after totally rocking my finals (I don't mean to brag, I was simply elated), I experienced 84 hours of fun! But, it felt like 228. Ask me, how did I arrive at that number? I accidentally miscalculated it the first time on my computer, and then completely didn't find that number odd until a friend pointed out my mistake. Oops!

Anyway, I am perfectly content with my finals and final grades for the second trimester. I find it very interesting how I actually stressed less this term, yet achieved a significantly higher GPA. How could this be possible? Is it true that I excel better when I not under so much pressure or when I maintain a relatively laid-back attitude towards my grades? Is it possible that not being so worried about my grades could result in better grades?

BUT....... that was before I had the dream.* Yes, I had another nightmare (see "Dream" post). I misread my GPA. I know it's like the end of the world! But it gets worse. When looked at from the vantage point of an overachiever, analytical, perfectionist, a 4.0 is like doomsday. Instead of the 4.378 I actually received, I misread it and it was a 4.0378. In my dream, I do recall feeling a terrible heap of dread and shame. It's as if I fell short of the quota mark. Like I tried so hard for nothing.

I always beat myself up like this. My mom says she doesn't know where it's coming from. It's not like my parents thrive on my super grades. They simply desire for me to try my best. Which is what I do. But I always feel like I can do better. Unfortunately, my overwhelming schedule doesn't calculate time for extra-credit or more studying. I don't even know why I've been dwelling on these things lately. If God has taught me anything this year it's that grades don't really matter, when focusing on Him (see "A New Perspective").

It's all about the truth. You see, I was telling myself lies when I felt like a failure (I know it seems ridiculous) in my dream of a 4.0! In reality, I have a perfect GPA. I am aware that it's possible to get a 5.0 with AP classes and A+'s. But even if I got a 3.0, the world wouldn't suddenly fall out from underneath me. I would still be living, and as long as have learned the most important lesson you can ever learn in this life - the Gospel and God's plan for salvation through Jesus Christ - then the rest is useless. Do you know what the truth is? It's Jesus Christ. And any lie you encounter in the world is from Satan. He's the father of lies (John 8:44)!

Romans 1:25 (NIV)

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen."

~Lord, I don't ever want to exchange your truth for lies of the world. Telling myself a 4.0 GPA is a lie. It's not the truth, and I don't ever want to be held captive by lies.

John 8:32 (NIV)

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

-A+ picture from Google.

*Note: Notice how I completely changed the tone of my writing and my entire perspective from just one dream (I'm not purposely trying to be contradictory or confusing). It's amazing how lies can do that. They warp reality and can completely change your mood! That's one reason we each need God so much. He gives us truth. I'm not talking about the definition of truth as "void of lies" or "reality." I'm referring to THE truth - Jesus Christ. He is truth. And His word is the Book of Truth (Daniel 10:21). My mom mentioned an amazing verse the other night: God's Word never returns void!

Isaiah 55:11 (NIV)

"so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

Some deep spring thinking...

Today is the first day of spring. Maybe not according to the calender or science, but to me, it smelled, felt, and looked like spring! On September 28th, it smelled like fall (see "The Smell of Fall"). Perhaps I'm just strange, but the sun and warm weather would also indicate a shift in seasons. Wouldn't it be boring if it was the same season all year round? I am very well aware that different regions in the world display separate climate changes, and some have none. Considering I used to live in a warmer climate, I am not against the tropical weather of Florida, I just also appreciate seasons. It's so exciting to see the sun suddenly come out of its hiding. To watch the snow melt away and the flowers to bud - it's truly lovely. Maybe that's why God created the different seasons, versus punishing people with cold weather. ;)

Don't you think the universe and creation itself is enough proof that there was a Creator behind the complexity? It's difficult for me to understand why people are confused when I state that there's enough evidence for God as there is for evolution and science. In fact, yesterday I got called a "radical." It shocked me for a moment, but then I said, "Thank-you." After all, wasn't Jesus a radical? Two thousand years ago humanity declared the Son of God a radical. So I will take that as a compliment. It shows that I am truly a disciple of Christ. That's what being a Christian is all about!

Although, I believe society has distorted the meaning of being a Christian. So much that people associate it with simply being a good person. That's great and all, but how do you define good? And is that the only basis for this religion? I am confident, 100% positive that there is no human being on earth or ever was, besides Jesus, that has actually followed the Ten Commandments completely. Not one! That's why Christianity (or at least the Bible I follow...) isn't just about strict rules that prevent any "fun." It's about a relationship with God that eliminates our sin in God's eyes, through Jesus' blood on the cross. I'm not perfect. Just ask my family! But because I believe and trust in God, through Jesus I am innocent. I will go to Heaven when I die. Not because I read the Bible. Not because I'm a "good" person. Or because I merely believe in God. The demons believe in God and they shudder!

That brings up another good point. Faith without deeds is useless. I'm terribly sorry if I sound like I'm making contradictory statements. But faith is a difficult topic to comprehend. Essentially, in order to be a follower of Christ (Christian) you have to, by faith, believe in God, trust in Him, and then demonstrate your faith by actively professing it and loving others like Christ loved us. There you go - a synopsis of the Christian faith. :)

Faith is just that. It takes a huge leap! But I also think it takes faith to be an atheist. If you claim you don't believe in God, you have faith that He doesn't exist! I may be biased, but I think it takes more faith to be an atheist, and I also believe there is more evidence for God than not! There's even a recent book called I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist.

As much as I want to make everyone a Christian and have them see the truth - which is Jesus, I can't. I can't force anyone and ultimately I can't "convert" anyone. That's the job of the Holy Spirit. Even though God wants everyone of us to go to Heaven and choose life, He created us with free-will. If He hadn't, we would be robots forced to love Him. I don't know about you, but most relationships on the earth don't go well when someone tries to force another to love them. It just isn't the same.

I can tell you that God is real. He reveals Himself through creation, miracles, the Bible, non-coincidences, others, and His love. I can also tell you that God's love does not compare to anything in the universe! He gives me a peace beyond understanding and joy. I feel sorry for those who don't personally know God. They must experience a deep emptiness because nothing else in the world can fully satisfy. It is my prayer that God will reveal Himself to them. It is my prayer that they will face those doubts and grow stronger in faith. Hopefully, me, the so-called radical, can show them the light. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6)!

1 John 2:4-6 (NIV)

"The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."

-Picture taken last spring :)

A Dream

Last night I had a nightmare. I dreamed my Bible fell into the ocean. I was swimming and fighting to grab it and hold onto its words. The ink was fading and I worked hard to wash the dirt off with soap. In the end I saved it. It was rescued from the waves and the words were still alive.

I shared this dream with my FCA group today. One interpretation was that God was going to send me on a missions trip across the ocean. I am going to Mexico this summer, but I'm pretty sure the Gulf of Mexico doesn't count. Maybe someday I'll go across the sea to Africa or Asia on a missions trip.

But my mom's interpretation was the best, and most accurate depiction I believe. She said that it's true. That the dream is a picture of what goes on in my daily life on this earth. I am constantly bombarded with waves. Everyone and everything are trying to grab God's words away from me and I have to fight to save them. But in the end, I wonder if it's really me saving them. For it's God's Word that's the light to my path and the bread of life. I live on the Bible. Yes, waves are constantly trying to steal my Jesus. They want so badly to smear the truth and erase the ink on the pages. But not with my God. He will rescue me and His Word will prevail. Jesus triumphs in the end. The world can't take away Scripture. No. The waves will never grab hold of my Bible!

Ephesians 6:17 (NIV)

"Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

~Thank-you God for giving me this revelation. I know you will fulfill all of your promises. And in the end, your Word will save me!

(Wave picture from Google)

Forgiveness

Has someone ever wronged you? What was your response? Did you give them the silent treatment for a month? Or did you constantly remind them of their sin and stay angry at them? This is a perfectly human thing to do. We all have done it (or at least I have)! Maybe you don't tell it to their face, but inside continually hold a grudge. Forgiveness is the correct response. Not a "I forgive you" but still hate your guts for hurting me, but a "I understand you're human, and are sorry for your wrong. You don't deserve punishment from me. God convicts you of your sin. I forgive you. Let's start over and not fight again." That would be a perfectly, practical, easy approach right? Ha! Something tells me it's not that easy...

In the book of Job, three of Job's friends give him advice about the difficult situation he's going through. They don't mean harm, but happen to be wrong in a few areas and told him the wrong things. Job's forgiveness is an accurate example of how we're called to forgive.

Job 42:7-10 (NIV)

"After the LORD had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, 'I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.' So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the LORD told them; and the LORD accepted Job's prayer.

After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before."

When I first read this, it was during a difficult time I was going through. I was hurt by a friend's actions and wasn't quite ready to forgive. To be honest, I had never really experienced true forgiveness, because I had never been hurt that badly. I was so angry. I kept on asking God, why me? Why do I have to suffer for someone else's wrongdoing? But I'm not perfect either. I've hurt people before too. And since God forgives everyone's sins, we should do the same. It's called compassion. You need to erase the bad memories, and start over. Wipe the slate clean and forgive, truly forgive them.

My Bible, the teenage girl True Images Bible by Zondervan (copyright 2007) had a perfect study insert in the Job chapter on forgiveness.

"For you, does forgiveness mean forgiving and forgetting? Or do you claim to forgive yet still hold a grudge? God promised to forgive the sin of Job's well-meaning but totally wrong friends. He didn't plan on reminding them about their sin later. Forgiveness is just like God says-it's not treating someone as he or she deserves. It also means wiping the slate completely clean. Is there someone who needs your forgiveness? How willing are you to totally forgive from the heart?"

Something else that struck me as important in the forgiveness concept is the reward. Forgiveness doesn't exactly benefit the person who sinned against you. They might not even know if you've forgiven them. But, it benefits who a whole lot more, when you can learn to love that person again. When you can learn to wipe the slate clean and not hold a grudge. I've realized that holding grudges is exhausting. It's not exactly comforting or my idea of fun. When you forgive, it's like a burden has been lifted. You're no longer worried about anything. You're free to love again. The number one, greatest commandment in the Bible is to love one another.

I think there's a direct correlation to love and freedom (see previous posts on freedom: Freedom! and Red, White, and Blue is not True Freedom). And forgiveness. Once you learn to forgive, you learn to love. Once you love, you experience freedom. It's like a bulls-eye if you hit all three!

Galatians 5:13 (NIV)

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love."

Perhaps you might have noticed it, but isn't it kind of contradictory that to be free, you must serve? After all, a servant is not free. They are the counter opposite! But, God works in mysterious ways, and He is the truth. There is truth in this message. To experience freedom, you must be a servant of God-obeying His commands and fulfilling His purpose for you. It may seem tedious, boring, or just plain weird, but trust me. You will never be free from sin without obeying God and trusting in His son Jesus, who died on the cross to set you free. Every time I hear of God's amazing love for us, I swell up with joy. How great is the Lord almighty! Praise His name for He has forgiven our sins!

I am reminded of the glorious plan in the Bible regarding Joseph. His brothers had really treated him badly. If you think you've been hurt, it's nothing compared to your own brothers selling you! They sold Joseph as a slave because of their jealousy for his father's favor on him. But, since God is so awesome, the plan worked out for the benefit of everyone! Joseph was put in charge of the kingdom's food supply, and shrewdly stored up enough. He saved many lives because a famine came to the region.

Genesis 50:15-21 (NIV)

¹⁵ When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?" ¹⁶ So they sent word to Joseph, saying, "Your father left these instructions before he died: ¹⁷ 'This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.' Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father." When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

¹⁸ His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. "We are your slaves," they said.

¹⁹ But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ²¹ So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

No matter how much pain someone has caused you, I encourage you to take a step of faith and forgive them. It may take some time. But in the end, you'll learn to love, and ultimately experience freedom! God's plan is so perfect, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

-Forgiveness picture and Forgiveness saying found on Google.

The Omnivore's Dilemma

I just finished reading this fascinating book for AP Environmental Science called "The Omnivore's Dilemma," by Michael Pollan. It discusses the rising epidemic facing our nation. We don't know what to eat! Even though we can eat practically everything and anything, we don't know what's the healthiest. Quite frankly, our government isn't providing us with adequate nutrition because they are so corrupted by money, and as a result we are facing a national eating disorder! The entire system disgusts me. Why does my health have to suffer by the hands of the corrupt world. Well, I guess that's what you can expect from sinful humans. But, you're probably asking, why not just eat organic? He shoots that argument down by stating various problems with organic food, that contain the same preservatives in all food. I have to admit, after reading this book, I wasn't exactly in an optimistic mood. But, it was an enlightening experience, and I acquired some different perspectives on life.

The following is a short summary (I paraphrased) of what he said regarding animals rights.

There is a rising controversy about the ethics of eating animals. The number of vegetarians is rising, so what's changing? We are experiencing a type of schizophrenia – we give our dogs Christmas presents while we eat our Christmas ham! A pig is as intelligent as a dog, so why the discrepancy? Our distance from animals allows for our mistreatment. Michael Pollan reads the book Animal Liberation by Peter Singer, which has turned thousands of people into vegetarians. He has a persuasive argument. Is equality for animals the same as for blacks and whites? Pollan immediately distinguishes his premise by explaining that "domesticated animals can't survive in the wild; in fact without us eating them they wouldn't exist at all" (pg. 310). There's mutualism between us and the animals. Predation actually keeps all species surviving. Isn't it natural, after all, to give rights to one's kind? The problem facing many is, animals can feel pain. Singer writes that "a lifetime of suffering for a non-human animal and the gastronomic preferences of a human being" (pg. 312) is not right. He suggests that you have two options: "You look away – or you stop eating animals." To effectively answer Singer's questions, Michael Pollan became a temporary vegetarian. He realized that he was isolated from society and that it's a "sacrifice of our identity as humans" (pg. 315).

The difference between animal pain and human pain is that human's have emotions: regret, self-pity, shame, humiliation, dread, etc. We have a self consciousness, unlike animals. Another argument religions make it that animals don't have souls, therefore they are (obviously) not as important as humans. Humans also possess language and the ability to have thoughts. But is it still right to make animals suffer? Because we don't "look," we are blind to the cruelty. Egg-laying hens is one example of the disturbing fate domesticated animals face. Our human morality wasn't meant to apply to nature, though. It was meant for other humans; animals are supposed to be our food. Killing animals is unavoidable in food – even wheat involves killing insects with its fertilizers and birds with its pesticides. We should concentrate on the health of nature instead of the moral code of eating animals.

Michael Pollan believes there are three options to the eating animals issue. He thinks that instead of either looking away or cease consuming meat, we should look with respect. We should continue to eat animals with a new perspective on life. All of America should put its slaughterhouses in glass, so we can see the brutality and change it! Creating a transparent (both literally and figuratively) meat industry could be a solution to all of our problems.

Although he didn't mention religion very much, I believe God created animals for us to eat. You can see this by nature! The biology and science behind life displays the complexity of life, and the perfect plan for it all. Here's a funny, yet true quote from the book:

"In a sense, the 'good life' for deer, and even their creaturely character, which has been forged in the crucible of predation, depends on the existence of the wolf. In a similar way chickens depend for their well-being on the existence of their human predators. Not the individual chicken, perhaps, but Chicken – the species. The surest way to achieve the extinction of the species would be to grant the chickens a right to life" (pg. 322).

Isn't that last line ironic? You would think it would be the opposite, but it's all part of God's plan. We depend on the animals for our survival, yet they depend on us for the survival of their species. Fascinating isn't it?

During one part of the book, Michael Pollan decides to go hunting, and make his own meal.

Being a young woman, I have never been hunting, and I don't plan on it. The idea of killing an animal frightens me, and I don't dare to think about the fact that I eat part of a live animal every day. When I was a little girl, I was unaware of this minor detail. I guess I knew (why did didn't bother me, I don't know) that a chicken was a chicken, but I never knew the meaning of the word "beef" or "bacon." Pork and hamburger were just food. When my parents told me that beef and hamburger was a cow, and that bacon and pork was a pig, I was devastated! You mean, I was eating a cow my entire life, oblivious to the situation. I always happily said, "Moo!" when asked what sound a cow makes, but knowing that I took the moo from my cow almost sent tears to my eyes. Poor cow…

Either way, I cringe when I hear my uncle (an enthusiastic hunter) say he killed another deer. Michael Pollan, to my surprise, had never been hunting either. I could actually relate to him! He had never even held a gun, and was reluctant to take the life of an animal. His conclusion at the end of the matter was encouraging, though. He realized the sacrifice of the wild pig had satisfied his family (something we take for granted) and felt gratitude. This is a completely new concept regarding hunting. But, it's what the Native Americans did when they used all of the contents of bison and other rituals – to preserve nature and thank it for providing for them. We do the opposite. Our society is wasteful and spoiled. We vacuum up all of nature's resources and don't care to leave a "thank-you." The Indians appreciated the gift nature brought them. So often we forget this! Because we don't see. We've isolated ourselves from our food and have forgotten the importance of it. Yes, it's difficult to overcome taking the life of an animal. But if that animal keeps you surviving, then thank it! That's a little weird for me, but I understand where Pollan's coming from. It's why he called his final meal the "Omnivore's Thanksgiving."

I think it's healthy to look at what you eat. Not just the nutrition label, but to appreciate what God has provided. That's why saying "grace" was invented. It was a way of thanking God for blessing the family with food. After all, we wouldn't live long without it.

Deuteronomy 12:21 (NIV)

"If the place where the LORD your God chooses to put his Name is too far away from you, you may slaughter animals from the herds and flocks the LORD has given you, as I have commanded you, and in your own towns you may eat as much of them as you want."

Throughout the Old Testament, God uses animals as sacrifices, to cover the Israelites' sin. Now, Jesus takes the form of a lamb, and died on the cross to wipe away all of our sins. But, I think the Bible is clear that animals were meant for us to eat them. It's how we were created - as omnivores. Unfortunately, we do face a dilemma with our new food chain, industry. The ultimate solution of how to eat is... still pending. Sorry. Perhaps someday I'll find a perfect solution, where we go back to the old ways of eating fresh and healthy fruits and vegetables. For now, I'll attempt to enjoy my yogurt fruit smoothies. Enjoy eating those Cheetos during the Superbowl (which just ended...), but remember the natural food God provided us with! Goodnight.

-God bless, Bubbly :)

-Omnivore's Dilemma picture, and chicken picture found on Google.

"Assurance is Attainable"

How do you know that you're saved? This seven-worded sentence is one of the most important questions you'll ever confront in your life. Answering it is vital to your life now, and eternity. That's a scary thought, isn't it?

Today, I decided to go to a different church. My FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) group and I went to our Coach's church to compare. We were talking about how a church is not the building, but the people, in this case the FCA huddle. It was nice to get a group from school to gather and come to the same church. It was an enlightening experience, and the sermon was inspirational!

The pastor began by reading 1 John 2:5-6.

"But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."

This is the NIV version, but the ESV version uses a different word for "live in him." Instead, it used the word "abide in him."

"but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked."

I had to look up the meaning of "abide" and found these definitions (dictionary.com): "to act in accord with; to submit to; agree to; to remain steadfast or faithful to; keep." Basically, if we're abiding in Christ, we are keeping a covenant with Him, similar to marriage. In fact, the word "know" in biblical times, was translated to the bond between the marriage of a husband and a wife. "Know" is used about 45 times in the book of 1 John, and the only way we can be assured salvation, is if we know God.

If I were to ask you, "do you know the president?" you might reply, "I know of him, but not personally." It's the same with God. I'm sure most Americans have heard of Jesus Christ, but do they really know Him? Perhaps some even know about Him. They could tell you a thousand facts about His life and the history behind the Bible, but they don't truly know Him. The pastor used an analogy to an apple. You could know the different types of apples, the biology behind it, even the nutritional value of it, but you'll never know how it tastes until you actually take a bite out of it. God tells us to "taste and see"! Taste the apple, and see it. Then you will really know it.

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

There's a scary passage (the pastor claimed it was the scariest in the Bible) in Matthew.

Matthew 7:21-23

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

Do you understand the meaning of this? You can do everything right. Perhaps you're a pastor, serving God every day of your life. You might know the Bible inside out, and you give to charity, and you do good works. But when you get to Heaven, God looks at you and says, "Sorry, I don't know you." Say what? God doesn't literally not know who you are (he knows the number of hairs on your head!), but he might not personally know you. You can't ever get to Heaven by good works. But, you can by knowing God. Develop a relationship with Him. He'll be the best friend you'll ever have, and the perfect Father.

I'm paraphrasing some of the pastor's words, but he went on further to explain the linear relationship between assurance and love. When your confidence increases, so does your love for God. When your love for and from God escalates, so does your assurance in Him. God is love. If you want to know Him, you have to learn to love. Our subjective assurance comes from the historically objective love-God! The Word became flesh (Jesus), and now the tomb is empty. That's a historical reality-a fact. Now, the event that happened there is up for debate and is subjective, but Jesus' tomb is empty today. I believe that He raised from the dead! He raised from the dead and conquered sin. Jesus died for every one of us, and His love is the key to everything.

How do you know? How do you know that you know? This is not meant to be a trick question, this is a confronting question facing everyone at some point, and it roots from doubts. We all have them, but facing them can result in a stronger faith. The pastor came up with three bullet points:

-Have you trusted Christ?

-Have you confessed Christ through baptism?

-Are you abiding in community?

The first one, is of utmost importance. Believing in God isn't enough. Believing in the death and resurrection of Jesus isn't enough. You have to trust Him with your life! You have to truly know God. Now first, you have to know about Him, but then you have to personally have a relationship. Once you learn to trust Him, you can show the world your new-found love, and faith by being baptized. Baptism is in no way a substitute for salvation. Jesus' blood is the only thing that can remove your sin, being baptized is just a way of publicly displaying your trust in God. After that, don't dare live in solitude! You're not meant to live in Christ alone. God tells us to encourage each other and have fellowship with each other (that's what church is all about!). It's hard in this corrupt world, and we're all sinful. But having deeply committed Christians as friends will help you grow in your faith and relationship with God.

I hope everyone can know God. It's more fulfilling than anything, and it determines your eternity. Knowledge isn't enough, you can be sure that you know God. As the pastor today said, "Assurance is attainable."

-Apple picture taken by Bubbly :)

Wrong Way!

The sad thing about life is, just when you think you've conquered it all, you get caught in pride and stumble on the concept of humility. So really, you can't ever know it all. Of course God knows all (far more than we can comprehend), but even the knowledge He has given us (the Bible), is infinite! It's a never-ending learning process, and you never graduate.

A few days ago, I was telling my mom of some of my friends, who tell dirty jokes, and don't live a holy life. I was so frustrated, that they just didn't get it! Don't they understand how perverted they're being? Don't they understand that God wrote the Bible, and that Christianity is more than just being a good person? Don't they get it, that you can't go to Heaven by works, and that Hell exists when we don't believe in God? They don't get it.

What I failed to realize, is my own judgmental attitude! It's God's place to judge, not mine. He alone holds the power of judgment and will completely take care of that on Judgment Day. I'm not perfect. I don't live a "holy life" either. Yes, I will go to Heaven when I die because I follow Christ, but I'm no better than they are in sin. Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." All doesn't signify some, it doesn't mean, only non-believers. No! All. Every human being on the face of the planet. And I'm certainly no exception.

My mom told me that pride and being judgmental is one of the worst sins. It's how Satan, the highest angel, fell! He thought he was better than God, and his pride caused his fall. Now, part of the reason I failed to realize my own pride, is because it wasn't as obvious as a cocky attitude. I am actually very insecure sometimes (I'm praying for God to give me more confidence). When I go to school, I don't feel popular, or pretty, or even smart. I feel like an outcast who doesn't fit in, and is shy to share her faith for fear of losing friends (I am bold in my faith, but don't share it like I should). That's not exactly pride, is it? But, it's all about your inner attitude. When I look down on nonbelievers for being ignorant, or "horrible people," I myself am committing sin, worse than theirs!

Humility is tricky. Once you think you're humble, you're not, because you think you are, which is prideful! Talk about a confusing statement.

Matthew 23:12 (NIV)

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself
will be exalted."

This is such an encouraging verse, for both sides. I am judgmental. I admit it! But, I'm glad that God promises to humble me. Perhaps one day I'll learn to be humble (but I won't actually realize it...). Then God will exalt me! Either way, God has it under control. Right now He's teaching me to not think of myself as better than anyone. Because I'm not! I get angry at my family sometimes. I'm not always 100% of the time nice. I don't do everything in love, as God says. And I certainly am not very humble.

~Thanks Father for reminding me of my sin. I needed an evaluation check. :) Please forgive me for my sins. I want to repent and turn to you! Humble me, Lord.

Romans 14:10 (NIV)

"You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your
brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat."

-Repentance picture from Google. I thought it accurately described how I feel. I was going the wrong way, and now God put a big "Wrong Way!" sign in front of me. Thanks again God! I needed that.
-If you're interested, see previous post on humility: David-a role model for humility